DENNIS ODA / DODA@STARBULLETIN.COM Peter Tulido, right, and his friend Aaron Kahuena sit on Tulido's 1968 Mustang. Tulido's parents died three years ago in a traffic accident, and he needs money to go back to Maui to visit their graves.

Youth’s wish is to visit
graves of parents

Peter Tulido has no money to travel
to their Maui burial site

Three years ago, Peter Tulido's parents went out to get sushi and never came home.

The Maui couple was killed in a head-on collision on Hana Highway that also injured four others. At the time, Tulido was 15. Since then he has not much enjoyed this time of year -- full of merriment and family festivities.

He has no siblings, and the holidays are just a reminder of who's missing in his life.

"To me it's just another time," he said, holding back tears. "It really lost meaning to me. ... It doesn't mean anything anymore."

The Pearl City resident, though, has one wish that has yet to be fulfilled this holiday season: to visit his parents' graves on Maui.

But he does not have enough money to buy a ticket or even pay for a hotel room, and he says he is counting on the kindness of strangers.

"I'd like to go back home," said Tulido, who moved to Mililani with his aunt after his parents died.

Tulido's parents, Frank and Mona Alvarez, were killed while traveling Kahului-bound along Hana Highway on June 29, 2001. Tulido's father, who was driving, crossed the center line just before 8 p.m., hitting an oncoming car and dying at the scene. Tulido's mother died hours later at the hospital.

After the accident, Tulido tried to stay with family members on Maui.

But he found himself angry, and the place full of grief. For several months he slept in his truck, relying on friends and a hanai aunty for food. Then he moved to Oahu to live with his mother's sister.

In August 2003 he enrolled at Mililani High School for his senior year and started picking up the pieces of his life.

A few months later, he found out about Outreach for Grieving Youth, a nonprofit aimed at helping young people ages 3 to 19 live with their loss. Tulido said the program, whose groups meet twice monthly, has helped him move past his parents' deaths while still honoring their memory.

In the nonprofit's "talking circles," Tulido said he was able to speak frankly -- for the first time since the accident -- with other youths about his parents.

All those helped by the program have experienced some kind of loss, either through death or divorce. Some of those being counseled are children of soldiers killed in Iraq or Afghanistan.

Tulido said he had never considered going to a counselor before joining the program. But now he cannot understand why he sought help so late.

"Everybody who comes ... we've lost one way or another," he said. "We all can relate."

After Tulido graduated from high school in May, he enrolled in auto mechanics courses at Leeward Community College. He was unable to continue those this past semester because of money constraints, but will take them up again in the new year thanks to some grant funds he has secured, he said.

He is looking for steady employment but for now is getting odd jobs fixing cars.

He is running low on cash now, and had $2.25 in his bank account at last check. "A lot of times," he said with a laugh, "I just end up eating saimin."

He said he is unable to visit his parents' graves at Maui Makawao Cemetery often, and was last there in March. His relatives have been largely supportive, but are not wealthy themselves and cannot get him there, he said.

To help Tulido or the Outreach for Grieving Youth, contact the organization at 735-2989.