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‘I didn’t think I could
do it on my own’
A young mom struggles to raise
three children and go to school
after leaving her boyfriend
"Sheena Cruz" is raising three small children, going to school and working part time, with no car or home to call her own.
But she says she is better off than when she was living with a boyfriend.
"I was just so depressed and the kids could feel it. ... I was suicidal. ... We would argue in front of the kids, and I was constantly crying, never sleep, wouldn't eat," said Cruz (not her real name).
What stopped her from ending it all, she said, was "just looking at my children. If I was ever out of their lives, what would happen to them?"
Just 20 years old, Cruz moved out of her 22-year-old boyfriend's house in August and into the Onemalo Transitional Shelter near Kapolei. The Star-Bulletin's annual Good Neighbor Fund, in conjunction with the Community Clearinghouse/Helping Hands Hawaii, is collecting money and donations to help families get back on their feet.
"I don't have the money to buy my kids clothes or toys, and I truly want them to have items they will enjoy, at least once a year," she said. Her twins are 2 years old; the girl wears a size 3T, and the boy, 4T. Another boy, 3, wears a 4T. They love Disney characters and would enjoy the videotapes "Shrek II" and "Toy Story II."
Since August "the kids have grown in ways that amaze me. The oldest is the most helpful. He fetches Pampers for me and throws them away. He even wants to change their Pampers for them," though he is still in diapers himself, she added.
When she first moved out, she said, "I didn't think I could do it on my own."
Cruz is surprised at her own resilience because she has returned to school to get her high school diploma, works part time and cares for her children. She wants to become an X-ray technician eventually. Her mother and ex-boyfriend's parents help watch the children while she is away.
She still has to depend on her ex-boyfriend to lend her the car.
She and her ex-boyfriend had been together for five years and once enjoyed good times. "I'll admit he was a really good father at one point. ... I don't know what came over him."
When he comes to visit once a week, he says he loves them and wants them to come back but can't promise he will change, she said.
The kids keep asking "to go to Daddy's house, but I have to say, 'No, it's not our home anymore.'"
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