Return of Tokelani

"Tokelani?" the captain of the local Tuber Border Patrol said in utter shock. "Did you hear that? Tokelani, that's what she said, didn't she?"

"That's what I heard," one of his officers replied. "Tokelani."

"Ai," added the third. "Tokelani it was."

They exchanged glances.

"This is urgent -- we need to dispatch runners to the king with this news," the captain said. "Immediately."

"Yessir! I'll summon them!"

Yes, King Kavawai, whose Royal Rotunda just downslope connected directly with this portion of The Tube, would want to know of the return of the great goddess Tokelani, as foretold for generations. She would come and bring even greater prosperity to all Tubers, the legend went.

Even better, everybody would feel like having sex with their mates for an entire weekend, even those who just did it a month ago already and felt no particular other urge to hurry back to whoopee heaven.

Joyously, many women would conceive children during the time of Tokelani's visit, and each child thus conceived would be born healthy, handsome and with even bigger eyes than normal for the large-eyed Tubers. Living in a cave, extreme light sensitivity is a wonderful thing, and a highly desired trait.

It had been 100 years since the last storied visit of Tokelani, and there were preparations to be made at the Royal Rotunda and all throughout The Tube. There were altars to erect, offerings to make, feasts to plan.

Not to mention romantic interludes to arrange.

As the old Tuber saying went, "Lucky you live when Tokelani comes."

When the captain had given two royal runners the message they were to deliver to the king, ASAP, he turned to his officers.

"I believe we should welcome the goddess now," he said. "Prepare to unseal The Tube and go Topside."

"What about the other voices?" the first officer said.

"Attendants?" the other offered. "Divine warriors?"

"I am not prepared to go that far," the captain countered. "I am not even prepared to say with certainty that this is the goddess Tokelani. It could merely be humans, perhaps hoping to fool us. Remember the Trojan horse? We will not permit any humans in. Me must not. Goddesses only.

"At the same time, we have to make certain just exactly who and what we have with this Tokelani. And there's only one way to do that -- in person."

The voices were closer now, echoing down through barely a foot of rock. The rock has ears, another Tuber saying went.

"Seal broken, Captain."

"Very well. Prepare to peep."