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Only a few people know
how to naturally work
a crowd

In recent columns I have discussed social skills that all workers should possess if they want to be put on the fast track for advancement in their organizations. These skills include listening respectfully to colleagues and to subordinates, participating in the give and take of workplace discussions without acting threatened, and showing graciousness when congratulated for major achievements.

There are a number of other social skills that are demonstrated by relatively few people, and they are worth discussing since those who possess them have an edge in the quest for executive-level positions.

People often reap great benefits if they have good networks in their communities. If people know many other individuals, they have access to knowledge that may not be generally known. They also may have access to favors that influential individuals can grant. In addition, these influential community leaders can "talk up" favored people and can contribute to their positive reputations. Executives in any one organization like to hear from prominent leaders who have good things to say about their organizations' employees. I must add, however, that people granted membership in influential networks must be careful to return favors. If they don't, they will be labeled as users and takers and will be banished from the company of prominent individuals.

But how do people develop good networks? One way is to go to various meetings where influential individuals might be in attendance. These meetings can include receptions for executives, award ceremonies, political fund-raisers, and volunteer activities for charities and other public service organizations. At this point, an advanced social skill comes into play: Some people can go to such meetings even if they do not know anyone who is likely to be in attendance.

They can enter a room, introduce themselves to others, strike up lively conversations, circulate among the many guests in attendance, and contribute to the success of the meeting through their colorful presence. Research by psychologists interested in social skills suggests that about 10 percent of people are comfortable attending such meetings. This is a low figure, and it indicates that a significant number of people are uncomfortable developing networks if they have to interact with strangers.

There is certainly criticism of people who develop networks in this manner. Some observers dismiss these activities as glad-handing and schmoozing. These observers have often not been the beneficiaries of socially skilled strangers who come up to them and offer introductions to others at various gatherings of prominent community leaders. I find myself in agreement with the critics on one point, however. The development of very high-level social skills can be overdone if it takes away from other skills that people should acquire. People need to develop various abilities such as marketing, computer literacy, organizational skills, and leadership. If they only have high-level social skills, they may be eventually dismissed as intellectual lightweights who only know how to attend social gatherings. My students often ask, "What's more important, what you know or who you know?" I answer that they must keep both in mind. People's various work-related abilities are their "what," and they offer these to the job market. Their networks are their "who," and these are the people who will decide whether they can use the abilities that job seekers present.

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