Not exactly Pele

As echoes of the voices of the other young chiefs journeying to the Big Island to contend for the hand of Princess Tuberosa La'a grew fainter, the call of the bones of Kamehameha the Great resonated louder in the heart of Kaneloa, a young Tuber chief of lowly status.

He turned, found himself standing at the entrance to the poison Tube of Ka-lai-pahoa, the evil sorcery god of Molokai.

"I hear him too, young chief of Oahu," a gravelly voice came from inside the Tube.

Kaneloa jumped back, peered into the cave, but even with Tuber eyes three times the size of regular human eyes and able to see in the dark, he saw nothing but a swirling green mist of noxious fumes.

"Yes, he's calling you, isn't he, the Great One?"

"Who are you?"

"Ka-lai-pahoa, of course. What do I look like, Pele in a red dress?"

What a wise-ass god, Kaneloa thought.

"Yes, I am a wise-ass," Ka-lai-pahoa growled. "Nevertheless, he's calling me too."

"Why?"

"He once owned me."

The last echo of the other young chiefs disappeared, and Kaneloa was tempted to run and catch up to them.

Instead he said, "Why?"

"Damn kids, I tell ya, all they ever do is ask why, why, why," the green mist muttered. "Sheesh. OK, here's how it is: When Kamehameha conquered an island, he always made sure to capture the island's most powerful gods. He got me. But only for his lifetime. I am not inheritable. You saw what happened to his kids without me -- right down the tube, so to speak."

The mist pulsed with peals of wicked laughter.

"Kalakaua was the last who tried to capture me, even as he tried to find the Great One's bones, but in each case he failed. I am my own. Kamehameha is his own."

"So why is the Great King calling you?"

"He wants to hang out, for old times' sake, sip a little fermented kava of the gods. But, being just bones, he has a hard time getting around."

"Oh. My message wasn't quite that precise. He just said hurry."

"This is the way, young chief. I will make you a deal. I will give you safe passage through my Tube and ask just one thing. Take me to your King."

"I get it. You don't really know where he is either, do you?"

"So perhaps you are not as stupid as you look ... "

"And if I choose not to accept your offer?"

"On second thought, maybe you are. Go it alone, you will surely die."

"OK, later," Kaneloa said and dashed past the mist into his toxic Tube.