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Mango-related humor
leaves bitter taste

AGAINST the advice of counsel and all the natural laws of humor, I reluctantly share the following joke from a reader on Maui:

"How do you make a mango?"

"Simple. First make a woman go. Wherever a woman goes, mangos."

AloHa Friday encourages readers to share any jokes, stories or oddities. E-mail them to cmemminger@starbulletin.com. As you can see, we set the bar for publication quite low.

Now the news ...

These villagers rock

DHAMI, India (Ananova) » Hundreds of people were injured during an annual stone throwing festival at this remote Indian village.

Village residents divide themselves into two groups and then pelt each other with stones. The group having the least number of wounded wins.

The 100-year-old event marks the death of a local queen, who burned herself to death on the funeral pyre of her husband.

(And the connection to throwing stones is ... ?)

Eternal Life can hurt

DUSHANBE, Tajikistan (Fortean Times) » A 75-foot high monument called "Eternal Life" collapsed, almost killing five people.

Five men working on the monument, designed as a centerpiece heralding optimism after war in the 1990s, suffered broken arms and legs when the monument crashed down on them.

(Ironically, the nearby monument called "Danger! This Thing Could Kill You!" went up without a hitch.)

Beavers hit jackpot

GREENSBURG, La. (AP) » A bag of money stolen from a casino was snapped up by beavers who wove thousands of dollars in soggy currency into the sticks and brush of their dam on a creek.

Police said the money was part of $70,000 stolen from the Lucky Dollar Casino. The thief turned himself in and told authorities he had left three bags of loot in the woods. Two bags were recovered but police were stumped about what happened to the third, until they noticed the dam's expensive decoration.

"They hadn't torn the bills up. They were still whole," said Sheriff Michael Martin.

(The sheriff said it was the best dam break they'd ever had in a dam robbery case. He added that no dam charges would be filed against the dam beavers.)

Honolulu Lite on Sunday:
In continuing our celebration of the "Eighty-five Days of Christmas," we will bring you the story of a hard-luck little dog named Belle who's waiting at the Hawaiian Humane Society for someone to give her a jingle. Get it? Belle? Jingle?

Quote Me On This:
"Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said 'Thank God, I'm still alive.' But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again." -- Barbara Boxer

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