So long, Lono

It's a wonderful life that the Tubers lived. There was peace and prosperity, and the traditional Hawaiian religion, culture and language thrived. The only major change when they went underground was that the god Lono was banished by one of the early La'a queens, whose line was descended straight from the gods and goddesses.

"Lono is a DV guy!" she declared one day -- as in domestic violence. "He beat his wife to death! What kind of freaking god is that? He is not a god worthy for my people. He and his priests are pig excrement!"

So it was that the human sacrifice which the Lono priests demanded to appease their god came to an end.

Likewise, all war gods were rejected.

When Lono, the war gods and their priests were shown the door and told in no uncertain terms never to return, the god Kane ascended in importance. "Ua kapu ke ola na Kane," the ancient chant went, life is sacred to Kane.

No wonder then that Ola, the very large, very brown, very beautiful, very naked goddess of life, made frequent visits to the Tube.

Tubers celebrated life in its many forms, lived off the bounty of The Tube and gave back with their careful husbandry of resources. They maintained fishponds, both salt and fresh water, and various kinds of seaweed was cultivated along with a type of white taro that grew without light. They also traded flowers from the royal tuberose plantation with topside cousins for delicacies such as fruits and pork.

In most places, Tubers lived a near idyllic life, worshipping the gods and goddesses who provided for them. That was, in fact, the only way of life that Kaneloa, a young chief of lowly status, had ever known growing up in The Tube beneath 'Iolani Palace. There were stories, of course, as there are in every culture, of ghosts and spirits and the existence of evil. But Kaneloa had never actually encountered anything like that.

Now as he neared Molokai, called forward by the evermore insistent bones of Kamehameha the Great, Kaneloa fell in with a group of other young chiefs also hurrying to the Big Island to compete for the hand of Princess Tuberosa La'a. Ka-hale-pohaku on the west end of Molokai was not far, he heard one of them say.

"I've been this way before," he added. "Ka-hale-pohaku is a dangerous intersection. Say your prayers. An evil power lurks nearby."

"Intersection," Kaneloa said. "Doesn't The Tube continue on to Lanai?"

"It does, that's the way I'm going. But the Tube of Ka-lai-pahoa meets it at there. The old god of sorcery has poisoned The Tube there. It's faster that way to the Big Island, but if you touch the wall or one drop of water falls on you, you will die."

"How much faster that way?" Kaneloa said. The Great King was calling.This is dummytext.