|
The Goddess Speaks Debra Evans |
Women never
lose their sway
over ogling males
The nice young waiter had just finished taking our order. He was in the process of collecting our menus when in walked two teenage girls with their parents. The taller of the two headed straight for the empty booth, while the other girl straggled.Talking animatedly on her cell phone, the teen brushed past our young waiter. She wore a lime green tube top held up by a firm bosom of the kind we all sported, before the children came, that is. Her top matched perfectly with her white hip-hugging shorts.
The girl was definitely pretty, with a gorgeous body. She took a seat with her family, and our young waiter headed back to the kitchen to place our order. I was surprised he didn't notice her, but then again, how could he have seen her -- after all, his back was to her. I didn't give it another thought until a few minutes later when I happened to look up and there, behind the counter at the far side of the room, stood our young waiter and another young man.
Our waiter sported the widest jack-o'-lantern-type grin and was pointing frantically toward the back of the room. It didn't take long to figure out that he had called a kitchen worker out to the front to point out the pretty young girl in the lime green top. It was a hoot watching them. The smiling, the pointing, the back slapping, the one-liners traded back and forth between them. Male ogling. When taken in from afar by a 40-something woman, it is hilariously sweet.
Since time began, women have had this power over men. The ability to walk into a room and have nearly all male eyes trained on her every move. The ability to stop conversation in midsentence, to turn heads, to make men drool. And if the men just happen to be in a group, you can bet that the silence will be broken with rib-jabbing one-liners followed by wide, schoolboy grins. I think I've seen this same type of behavior on one of those "Animal Planet" specials, the one about primates. Apparently, ogling also runs rampant in the animal world.
MOST WOMEN are unaware of this phenomenon when it happens to them in an ordinary situation. A woman might enter a room or walk through a space thinking only of getting to where she needs to be. What occupies her thoughts are mundane things like grocery shopping lists, whether Timmy has a clean shirt for school the next day or what she's packing for home lunches.
Young girls, on the other hand, have more exciting distractions. Giggling and talking to their best friend, fussing with their hair or clothes, or both, or, as in the case with the girl in the restaurant, busily talking on her cell phone.
It seems that age plays a role in the different techniques of male ogling. While young men still retain a bit of childhood innocence about them, their ogling is usually done discreetly: behind a tree, standing off to the side or far across the room behind a counter. Nothing loud, no shouting, only wide-eyed grins and lots of air-stabbing finger pointing.
The older men get, the more brazen they become. A lot bolder, the mature male kicks up the sport of ogling a notch by adding hooting, whistling and loud verbal comments. Strange as it seems, a lone male will perform his ogling quietly, with decorum and respect, but put them in groups of two or more, and ogling becomes a public spectacle.
Try noticing the next time you are at your cousin's wedding and in walks a tall, slender woman dressed in a slinky formal dress. Every male within a 5-foot radius will turn his eyes on her, watch her walk past, take note of her table number. Uncle Barney, cousin Lopaka, Grandpa Hiroshi even. Male ogling is not specific to any age.
And let's face it, if the ogling is done with decorum and respect, we love it. When a woman becomes aware of the fact that she has the ability to turn heads, she revels in it. She stands a bit taller, her shoulders push back just a little bit more. She slinks by with her head held just a tad bit higher. In spite of all this women's lib stuff, the bottom line is that women still love getting admiring looks from the guys.
As we were leaving the restaurant, we walked past the counter. The nice young waiter was now surrounded by five other kitchen workers. All were smiling, the more informed ones eagerly pointing out the young girl to the new arrivals, with major rib jabbing, lots of male bantering and lots of sighing. I only wished the girl knew that, like a queen, she was holding court to an appreciative audience.
about women. If you have something to say, write
"The Goddess Speaks," 7 Waterfront Plaza, Suite 210, Honolulu 96813;
or e-mail features@starbulletin.com.