Managers need to
have tough skin

Two themes were present in several suggestions: Employees appreciate bosses who are able to encourage participation from workers and who can integrate their suggestions into better company policies, and they appreciate bosses who listen carefully and show respect for employee contributions.

One reader recognized a potential difficulty. She wrote, "If bosses encourage participation, they will surely hear some suggestions with which they disagree or which imply criticism of their past management practices. Even if there is no direct confrontation, especially sensitive people may feel that they are being criticized for not thinking of the suggestion themselves! Bosses have to develop thick skins if they are to encourage participative decision making."

People with aspirations for managerial positions are well advised to engage in a self-examination regarding the thickness of their skins.

Questions to pose include, "Can I accept criticism of my work? Can I disagree with people on social and political issues and retain a calm demeanor? In other words, can I disagree with people without being disagreeable? If I am in a public setting, can I be criticized by large number of people and still keep my poise?"

If the answer to these and related questions is "no," then potential managers should consider engaging in activities that might thicken up their skins.

One method is to take courses in public speaking and in facilitating group discussions. These are often offered through the outreach programs of colleges and universities. Another method is to join community organizations and to volunteer for committee work where people will surely disagree.

If they volunteer for committees that deal with the finances of volunteer organizations in which members pay dues, they will be able to take advantage of a quirky aspect of human behavior: Even if people are quite wealthy, they are very sensitive about how their money is spent when they pay dues to an organization.

If the organization collects $50 a year from each member, that money could be spent on a yearly dinner, a trip to a tourist attraction, or plants to make the downtown area of their communities more attractive.

No matter what the suggestion, some member will disagree. Defending one's own suggestion, and listening respectfully to the ideas presented by others, provides good learning experiences for career development.

Developing a thick skin may be harder in Hawaii than in other parts of the United States. The norms of "live the aloha spirit" and "don't talk stink" sometimes take the form of gentleness and softness when offering criticism of others.

One of the people I work with closely recently interviewed for jobs outside of Hawaii. He reported, "The questions I was asked were much tougher than anything I had experienced in Hawaii. I think I handled them OK, but I had to draw from my experiences that I had in Oregon, before I came to Hawaii."

From my observations, this is an issue frequently faced by people who have spent most of their lives in Hawaii. It reinforces the advice to examine one's ability to accept suggestions for improvement and to deal with criticism. If people generate self-insights that identify problem areas, they can take steps to improve.