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Busy Bush has time
to mess with our gas

Everything bad happening in the world is George Bush's fault.

» He caused all the hurricanes in Florida by ignoring the threat of global warming, an environmental group claims.

» He killed Superman. That is, Christopher Reeve, the actor who played Superman, died because Bush will not allow fetal stem cell research, opponents allege.

» And now, according to the national Democratic party, Bush is responsible for Hawaii's high gas prices and falling personal income. That's according to a campaign commercial running here put together by the national party.

And all this time we thought gas prices were high because local distributors were ripping us off.

Bush must have a lot more time on his hands then I thought. I mean, to run a war, be president, campaign for reelection AND deliberately screw up Hawaii's economy. Oh, yeah, and he's making Kilauea Volcano erupt out of pure meanness.

Now the news ...

Guilt by room service

OSLO, Norway (AP) » After putting up with pangs of conscience for 24 years, a Norwegian finally settled a hotel bill he skipped out on in 1980.

The Clarion Hotel Ernst received a handwritten letter of apology and $95 from an anonymous sender. The note said he had some sandwiches and drinks on his room bill that he left without paying.

"I have thought a lot about this incident," he wrote. "One who wants to make good and hereby has."

(He added, "But I'm keeping the towels.")

Decorator invades home

DOUGLASVILLE, Ga. (AP) » A woman came home from vacation to find a stranger living there, wearing her clothes, ripping out carpet, repainting a room and installing a washer and dryer.

Authorities can't explain why Beverly Valentine, 54, broke into the home and started acting as though it were her own. She is being held on $25,000 bail. Police did not say what charges she faced.

(But they might include felony decorating a ranch-style house in Tudor and a misdemeanor count of tackiness for putting a purple plush rug and toilet seat cover in the guest bathroom.)

Going away party a bust

DALLAS (AP) » A Dallas judge welcomed a fugitive back to her court, throwing a party for him that included balloons and cake.

Billy Ray Williams -- convicted of attempting to choke his girlfriend to death -- was on the run for a year before being captured by U.S. Marshals.

"You just made my day when I heard you had finally come home," said Circuit Judge Faith Johnson. She decorated the courtroom with balloons, threw the party for Williams and then sent him to prison for life.

(Which gives new meaning to the phrase "life of the party.")

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Honolulu Lite on Sunday:
Scientists have discovered remains that show tiny human beings lived in the South Pacific 18,000 years ago. Could they be ancestors to Hawaii's mythical menehune?

Quote Me On This:
"I have finally come to the conclusion that a good reliable set of bowels is worth more to a man than any quantity of brains." -- Josh Billings

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