Social skills include
keeping in touch
with others

This request came after I introduced coverage of various social skills that are necessary in the workplace.

Several other readers asked me to remind individuals that they have obligations if influential people offer assistance on tasks such as job searches and letters of recommendations for professional awards. Those obligations include progress reports on the job search and activities related to the possible awards, thank-you letters no matter the outcomes, and attempts to return favors.

One reader told me, "I often find myself giving advice to young job seekers. They make appointments, come to my office, and I tell them what I know about the current job market. But then I rarely hear from them again. It's as if they do a disappearing act. So I don't know whether they got a job or not. After a few years, I might see them at one meeting or another. But even then they don't come over and tell me what has happened to them. Such experiences make it less likely that I will be enthusiastic about helping other job seekers in the future."

This is a common complaint. Social skills clearly call for continued contact with people who have helped in the past. I feel that one reason for the lack of continuous contact is that the job seekers, or in general favor seekers, do not want to be remembered as once needing help. If these individuals now have a job or have received an award, that is what they want others to have in mind. These individuals do not want to be remembered as unemployed job seekers or as people wanting favors.

The lack of follow-up contact has negative effects. People who have favors to offer become jaded and sometimes avoid professional gatherings where they might be the targets of requests for their resources. Another reader pointed out, "I sometimes dread going to business meetings where lunch will be served or where there will be long coffee break. Some people seem to treat these meetings as places where they can hustle up favors. These people treat others like deer during open hunting season. They target influential individuals and then go after them. And of course, they never think of doing anything to return the favors they receive."

Today's communication technologies, such as e-mail and text messaging, make keeping in touch very easy. In addition to letting favor-givers know about the progress made given their advice or recommendations, beneficiaries can describe their efforts to return favors. Often, influential people with favors to give are very busy and so cannot give time to all of the community organizations whose leaders request their help. Those helped by these influential people can return favors by volunteering and spending time in these organizations. There are always volunteer activities for people willing to spend time with organizations such as the Blood Bank, Meals on Wheels, and Boy and Girl Scouts. Influential people are impressed by individuals who strive to return favors, and they will remember these activities when they have other resources to share in the future.