Pursuing goals satisfies
without comparisons

Recently, it seems like a lot of my friends are concerned by what other people are doing and how they match up. Comparisons are natural and part of our competitive natures.

Such thoughts can arise any time. They could be triggered by a friend's wedding, an approaching high school reunion, a significant birthday or any circumstance that causes you to wonder how you stack up against the guy next to you. If you're not keeping up with the Jones, you might be falling behind, and that's hard to face when you're only in your 20s. How much farther will you lag in your 30s or 40s?

For me it came at an odd moment, watching my cousin performing taiko in front of hundreds of paid spectators. It also happened while watching my friend pose atop the shoulders of another friend surfing. First, there's a sense of awe and a sense of admiration for something that you cannot imagine ever doing. Then, surprisingly, it elicits questions about one's own accomplishments. Was I doing everything I possibly could do in my life?

When I considered my list of successes and failures, I had nothing on it that came close to my cousin's and friend's accomplishments. Had I stopped taking risks? Was I becoming stagnant? What happened to my goals, and what happened to all the time?

WHEN I BEGAN listening to my friends, I started to find the answers to these questions. Each one of my friends does something that is admirable and awe-inspiring, yet it is rare to find anyone who can completely appreciate all facets of their lives.

None of them were happy with the one or few things that were enviable enough to make me rethink my own life. If they had great friends, they wanted to find love. If they had love, they wanted more time to hang out with great friends. In the end, everyone wanted what everyone else had. But I think by only focusing on the missing pieces in our lives, we miss the greater whole, the significant message it brings.

When I sat in the concert hall, watching my cousin hit those drums as if he had been playing all his life and not just for four years, I realized something amazing. I learned that as we get older, the desire to try to fit in, to try to be like everyone else, and fill our own empty pieces with their dreams, dies. The real dreams, our own passions and goals, are allowed to blossom.

I witnessed the result of one man's dream and appreciated the inspiration. It is important not to allow everyone else's success blind you en route to pursuing your goals. For some, success takes longer to achieve, but I've heard it said there are no failures, only people who give up.

I am glad for the little wake-up calls I've endured because without them I might be happy in a comfortable yet dull life. I use these moments to remind myself that life is long, and each step -- whether tandem surfing or taiko performing -- adds up to a full, awe-inspiring life. I cannot wait until I find my own niche, causing others to sit and wonder, "Am I appreciating and living the best of my life?"