Managers need to show
workers a proper amount
of respect

IN recent columns I have discussed various social skills that good managers possess. Social skills involve working effectively with others.

An organization's employees who want to enter the ranks of management should hone these skills.

Social skills are different from intellectual skills.Consider people who are clearly smart in the sense of their formal education: They have a large vocabulary, read several newspapers daily, can do complex mathematical calculations without consulting a book, and can cite obscure literary figures during their everyday conversations.

But they can't get along with coworkers in their organizations. They cannot communicate what they would like to see happen. They irritate others so much that they are avoided like the plague. These people may be book smart, but they are lacking in people skills.

Many social skills that managers should possess involve showing respect for coworkers and subordinates.

For many people, respect is like money: They don't get as much as they would like. When the comedian Rodney Dangerfield was trying to make his mark as a major figure in show business, he tried out various types of jokes to see what worked best with audiences. He found that when he emphasized that others failed to appreciate and to pay attention to him, audiences responded with laughter. This became summarized in his trademark phrase, "I don't get no respect."

One of his jokes: "I went to see the doctor and he said I was fat and had to go on a diet. I told him I wanted a second opinion. He said, 'OK, you're ugly, too!'"

After one show, Jack Benny came backstage to see Rodney. The older comedian advised Rodney to emphasize the lack-of-respect material. He pointed out that all audience members can relate to this since a lack of respect is part of everyone's life at one time or another.3

In the workplace, managers can show respect by listening carefully to subordinates. As long as it is a sincere gesture rather than a piece of theatrical fluff, managers can take notes while the subordinates speak.

Managers also need to show that they respect the employees' time and do not want to give the impression that they have something more important to do.

For example, if employees schedule a meeting that they feel will last a half-hour, they are going to be irritated if managers look at their watches after about 10 minutes. If managers have to look at their watches, they must give the employees a reason. For instance, it might be that they are expecting a light knock on the door from a secretary who has a folder of materials related to the employees' concerns.

If managers makes a commitment during the meeting, they must follow through on their promises. Even if the manager has nothing to report after about two weeks, employees appreciate a memo or e-mail saying, "I don't have anything to report as a follow-up to our meeting, but I am still working on the issues you raised. I'll get back to you again when I have more information."

If you have a pet peeve concerning the lack of social skills you have observed or experienced, e-mail me and I'll summarize it in a future column.