AVP comes between
a good hug

IF Tiger Woods were in town, we'd want to see the fist pump.

Jordan? Dunking, with tongue. No question.

If you ran into Ah-nold, dah Govanatah, you would hound him until he said, "Ah'll be baaahk!" You would, you know you would. Admit it.

If you're going to see your favorite artist in concert, do you want to listen to a bunch of songs you've never heard, the new album? No. Of course not. You want greatest hits.

As acid-tongued assassin David Spade once put it: "You're Laura Branigan! Open with 'Gloria', close with 'Gloria.' Sing 'Gloria' in between!"

So I was not the only one chagrined that AVP pro beach volleyball was in town this week, yet we would not get to see Misty May and Kerri Walsh.

The new Olympic gold medalists were here, but under the "Best on the Beach" format, not together.

Yes, I know their leaping, tumbling, squeezing, spanking (that's where they lost me, not that I'm saying there's anything wrong with that) celebration was a one-time thing. Especially with their overreaction to our overreaction.

As the Chicago Sun-Times' Carol Slezak wrote: "After asking May about the hug, I felt a twinge of regret. Not about the question, per se. It's just that, for an instant, I thought she might punch me."

So I wasn't bringing it up.

But with their performance in Athens -- on the court and, yes, especially afterward -- this team has become the beach game's name brand.

They didn't appear on the "Today" show because they are "great athletes" as the AVP keeps telling us. They appeared on the "Today" show because the Olympics were broadcast by NBC.

Oh, and also because May and Walsh and their play and their hug had struck a cord.

People like them. People want to see them together.

But "Best of the Beach" -- a contest designed to find the top individual player in what I thought was a team sport -- doesn't work that way.

So now, just when this niche sport has some name recognition, some momentum, some interest from the casual fan, it comes to town and splits up the only team the average Joe knows?

When Walsh was in yesterday's final, it was announced she could pick any pro she wanted as her partner -- any except May. And the whole crowd went: Oohhhhhhhhh!

"Those are the rules," the announcer said.

Stupid rules.

But Annett Davis, who was also up for the "Best" title, apparently knows a little about momentum and marketing and fan appeal and what's good for the game.

She picked Misty May. And the crowd loved it.

In the end, she and May won 2-1, and Davis was crowned queen of the beach.

They hugged, but it just wasn't the same.