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Giggling to the bank
after Google IPO

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One day when I'm old and feeble, opposed to the feebleness I'm going through presently, I'll be able to bounce my grandkids on my knee (or at least on my drool bucket) and tell them I once upon a time made some money on a company with the silly name of "Google."

Yes, somehow the Gods of Stock Market screwed up and I was one of the small fry allowed to get a piece of the Initial Public Offering when the Internet search engine company went public. Investors fled like Republicans from a Whoopi Goldberg concert when they heard I was entering the IPO. The Memminger "Kiss of Death" is well known in the financial world, having caused not only the famous Tech Wreck of the 90's but stopped the pog craze in its tracks and sent silver tumbling to unheard of lows decades earlier.

Waking up to discover I owned some Google shares actually worth more than what I paid was a bit unnerving. Or maybe I haven't woke up yet.

Now the news ...

Drunk man wins by a tail

BRISBANE, Australia (AP) » A remorseful man was shocked to learn he had bitten the tail off a live mouse while drunk to win a pub competition.

Tony McGee, 22, pleaded guilty to animal cruelty and was fined $700. During the pub challenge, McGee also set off a mouse trap with his tongue, ate a cup of maggots and drank a pint of anchovies. As winner, McGee took home $75.

(Obviously, anchovies and maggots don't enjoy the same protection by animal rights activists as mice do.)

Gambling bugs HK cops

HONG KONG (BBC) » More than 100 people were arrested for betting on insect fights.

Police raided a Far East Friends of Crickets Social Club where crickets competed in the Guangdong Hong Kong and Macau Fight of Champions. Cricket fighting is not illegal, but betting on them is. Police said the illegal gambling on insect fighting is controlled by organized crime triads.

(Little did police know, but in a back room, triad members were involved in the disgusting practice of cockroach juggling.)

Put casket in the basket

CHICAGO (AP) » Big Box retailer Costco, known for selling items in bulk at cut-rate prices, will be test-marketing the sale of caskets. Six models will be offered in colors including lilac and blue for under $800.

Some shoppers are a little put off by the idea.

"A casket at Costco ... yeah, I think it's pretty bizarre, said Inga Barth, 53, who complained about the limited number of models to chose from.

(The price per casket is great, but the catch is you have to buy a six pack.)

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Honolulu Lite on Sunday:
One man's junk is another man's priceless contribution to modern art. That's why Honolulu Lite on Sunday will propose the installation of an "Artist in Residence" at the Kailua Dump.

Quote Me On This (Heaven Can't Wait Division):
"I do benefits for all religions. I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality." -- Bob Hope

"I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes." -- W.C. Fields

"Hearing nuns' confessions is like be stoned to death with popcorn." -- Fulton J. Sheen

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