Finding the meanings of
a phrase not always
duck soup

Occasional "Honolulu Lite" reader Beau Barker asks, "Where did the term 'duck soup' come from?" She apparently thinks we don't have enough to do around here. Or maybe she confuses us with Dear Abby or Lou Boyd. Nevertheless, let's drop all the important stuff we're working on so we can address Beau's little question. Because we wouldn't want Beau to go through life not knowing the answer to one of the great philosophical questions of our age.

First of all, we assume she's referring to the clichˇ that infers something that is easy or simple, as in, "Answering this question will be duck soup."

Unfortunately, exhaustive research by our crack Honolulu Lite Word Origins SWAT Team proved finding the origin of "duck soup" is not easy as pie or even a piece of cake.

I hoped that finding the origin of "duck soup" would be no harder than shooting fish in a barrel or falling off a log, but after hours of pawing through ancient dusty tomes in the Smithsonian Institution's Semantics Vault (we spare no expense here), it was clear this project would not be child's play.

The most famous use of the term was as the title to the Marx Brothers' 1933 movie "Duck Soup," a film about the dictator of a small country, which has absolutely nothing to do with duck soup, ducks and/or soup. Asked to explain the title, Groucho Marx once cryptically said, "Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages but no duck and mix them together. After one taste you'll duck soup for the rest of your life."

Its earliest use was simply as a caption for a 1902 cartoon showing a man juggling a bottle, pitcher, plate and salt shaker. It was unclear whether "duck soup" meant the juggling was easy or hard, although most historians agree the cartoon was stupid and unfunny.

IT IS POSSIBLE "duck soup" is an ironic utterance because making a pot of duck soup is not as easy as A-B-C (or 1-2-3, either). One recipe calls for a 7-pound duck (which you can procure at your local neighborhood pond), a quart of duck blood (ditto), two quarts of water, allspice, cloves, a pound of prunes, a cup of raisins, a tart apple, flour, sugar, sour cream and vinegar.

Cook the whole mess for a few hours and, if you're smart, dump it immediately down the disposal. If you do eat it, with all the duck blood, prunes, raisins and apples, you might find it disgusting, but you certainly will become "regular."

Another recipe for "Duck Soup" lists two ounces of bourbon whisky, a half-ounce of apricot brandy, lemon juice, pineapple juice and sugar. You serve this "soup" in a highball glass. I've never heard of a soup like that, but I prefer it over the previous entry.

The Web site World Wide Words -- the most authoritative source of word origins in the whole wide world -- says of "duck soup": "It's a weird phrase. Nobody has the slightest idea where it came from or what it refers to."

Hey, thanks a bunch. Nice attitude. This site could be just a tad overrated.

So, Beau, there you go. Months of precious time wasted. Next time you have a question for the valuable offices of "Honolulu Lite," it'd better be a slam dunk or no-brainer. Or at least as easy as shooting ducks on a pond, whether soup will be made with them or not.