It’ll make you sick

» Kahala

As the windowless white van turned onto Kahala from Pueo and approached the estate Bodhicita Guzman knew so well, the driver removed his floppy straw hat and wrap-around shades.

"Hello again, Bodhicita," Fon Du said coldly.

She started to scream as he turned up the familiar drive, but the imam who rode in back with her clamped one hand over her nose and mouth, with the other twisted her right arm behind her back.

As the gate automatically closed behind them, Bodhicita gagged and the imam didn't quite remove his hand from her mouth before she vomited on his robes.

The imam, the rabbi and Fon Du all cursed in Mandarin.

The van pulled into a large garage, parked beside Fon Du's black Mercedes, and the door lowered behind them.

The imam pulled Bodhicita from the van roughly and dragged her into the house spitting puke particles and crying uncontrollably.

Another door closed behind her.

She was dead. Or soon would be. Painfully dead.

Exiting a cab out on Kahala Avenue, Kamasami Khan shared the same opinion.

Descended from Genghis Khan, his family had been in the lama protection biz for centuries. So he'd been there at Jefferson Hall when Lama Jey addressed Hawaii's religious leaders -- he did volunteer landscaping in the Japanese garden behind the hall, was well known there and had no problem finagling his way inside -- and was about to tackle the knife-wielding imam from behind when Michael Tenzin-Campbell, a fellow member of the Free Tibet Warrior Society posing as a monk in the lama's retinue, kicked him in the head. And then this very large, very brown, very beautiful, very naked woman stepped between the lama and the one-man jihad. Damndest thing he'd ever seen. He wondered if she'd be willing to help out when FTWS began operations against the Chinese Communists who occupied Tibet.

Trying to beat traffic, Khan dashed out the back and jogged down to where his red Ram 1500 double-cab was parked behind Burns Hall in the National Marine Fisheries lot -- he had an arrangement with his buddy John.

Turning onto Dole, he saw Bodhicita in the gray nun costume, the one that had fooled him the first time, at a bus stop. He was going to stop and offer her a ride, but before he could get there she was getting into a white van with the rabbi and imam he'd seen at the meeting with Lama Jey.

He followed it onto the H-1. Passing a cab, he waved a $100 bill out the window and shouted "Follow me, I'm gonna need a ride."

The cab followed, and as the van waited at a light at Hunakai and Pahoa, Khan leaped out of the truck and into the cab. "Follow that van!"