’Net Junkie

Shawn "Speedy" Lopes

Alien defense makes
fashion statement

If you haven't already heard, aliens have begun creating a new race of beings in an attempt to colonize our planet. Michael Menkin says he wants to prevent an imminent extraterrestrial takeover by supplying you with the information you need to thwart an alien abduction and help keep earth the dominion of mankind.

The good news is that all you need are a few common items you might find at home or at the local hardware store. At, Menkin, the site's creator, reveals a step-by-step process for creating your own "thought screen helmet," which he believes can play a significant role in keeping those otherworldly creatures at bay.

All you really need are cloth or plastic tape; a hat or helmet made of vinyl, rubber or leather; 3M Velostat; a felt-tipped highlighter; a felt-tipped pen or grease pencil; scissors; a sharp knife; a measuring stick and a large piece of paper about 18 by 18 inches.

Click on the site's "Testimonials" button to read what others have to say about the product. "Still nothing new to report here ... so it must work!" writes one individual.

"I am happy to report that the thought screen helmet has been performing beautifully," reports another. "It's been over six months now and not one incident. Apart from some of the naive neighborhood kids and their taunting, it's been a blissful period."

Menkin swears it's not your money he's after. is not a commercial Web site, he says, nor does it offer any products for sale.

According to Menkin, his first attempts, which utilized aluminum foil and a metalized plastic worked with only limited success. When he switched to helmets and hats made with Velostat, his success rate improved considerably.

"Now my thoughts are my own," proclaims alien abductee Jon Locke on stopabductions. com. "I have achieved meaningful work and am contributing to society. Thank you, Michael, for the work you are doing to save humanity."

Note: Web sites mentioned in this column were active at time of publication. The Honolulu Star-Bulletin neither endorses nor is responsible for their contents.

See the Columnists section for some past articles.

’Net Junkie drops every Monday.
Contact Shawn "Speedy" Lopes at


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