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’Net Junkie Shawn "Speedy" Lopes |
Bad plastic surgery
site looks at celebsPity the celebrity. Though the exalted stars of stage and screen enjoy tremendous wealth, privilege, fame and fortune, many can never achieve true happiness with the knowledge that there will always exist an enemy they cannot defeat. Every time they gaze into a mirror, they are reminded of the impossible expectation to project physical perfection until their dying day.
They try in vain to turn back the hands of time, yet often fall short of their goal to recapture the looks that were once the envy of the world. In some cases, they attempt to gain features Mother Nature neglected to grant them, but are instead left with an appearance far less appealing than the one they'd hoped to fix.
The creators of awfulplasticsurgery.com pull no punches in their commentary on famous folk who have endured the surgeon's scapel with more than 100 examples of what they deem bad or botched procedures. To be fair to the subjects depicted here, the site doesn't offer any physical proof that any work has been done on these individuals, though in many cases, before and after photos form a compelling argument.
As of this writing, the most recent awfulplasticsurgery.com postings included scathing reviews on the new Tara Reid ("Tara didn't opt for a modest breast augmentation. Instead, she went for the porn star look."); '80s drag icon Marilyn, best known for being a party pal of Boy George ("For some reason, he decided to ruin a perfectly nice nose with an odd-looking implant at the end"); and Lance Bass of N'Sync ("This is exactly the sort of rhinoplasty surgery a man does not want -- now he has feminized features"). Vicious stuff.
Other reviewed stars include Melanie Griffith, Lil' Kim, Burt Reynolds, Marie Osmond, Donald Trump, Jennifer Lopez, Joan Rivers, Cher and Patrick Swayze under such headings as "Bad Boob Jobs," "Bad Cheekbone Implants," "Bad Face Lifts," "Bad Hair Transplants" and "Bad Nose Jobs."
Awfulplasticsurgery.com also features a message board for sharing photos and unkind gossip on dozens of other stars visitors are convinced have had work done. Here's a radical idea for Hollywood trendsetters: why not take a tip from Katharine Hepburn and Sean Connery and try to age gracefully?
Note: Web sites mentioned in this column were active at time of publication. The Honolulu Star-Bulletin neither endorses nor is responsible for their contents.
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’Net Junkie drops every Monday.
Contact Shawn "Speedy" Lopes at slopes@starbulletin.com.
