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Alo-Ha! Friday Charles Memminger |
Running of the
Mongooses would be a hitThis is a sad time of year for me because it reminds me that one of my greatest ideas has yet to be embraced.
This is the week when the world's attention is turned toward Pamplona, Spain, for the "running of the bulls," an event that levels the playing field between man and beast. It's a chance for everyone to root for the underdog, or underbull and there's nothing quite so satisfying as seeing a drunken Spaniard being tossed into the air on the point of a bull's horn.
My idea was to develop a new tourist attracting here called the "running of the mongooses." Just think: Several hundred mongooses, teeth gnashing, chasing fleeing tourists down Kalakaua Avenue. Why the Hawaii Tourist and Convention Bureau doesn't jump on this idea, I don't know.
And now the news ...
Running of the nitwits
MADRID, Spain (AP) >> Speaking of the running of the bulls, this week several hundred animal rights activists marched and ran through Pamplona topless to protest bull fighting and bull running.The protesters had planned to run nude but could not get the necessary town hall permit.
One protester said the running of the bulls is mean because runners pull the bulls' tails and kick them so they run in a state of panic.
(Ah, a new event: The running of the Boobs! How can protestors say the bulls run in a state of panic. Have they seen the film? Looks more like a state of glee to us.)
Now for invisible sashimi
SYDNEY (AP) >> They must have needed a really small hook but Australian scientists say they've caught what they believe is the world's smallest and lightest fish.In fact, researchers at Sydney's Australian Museum say the Stout Infantfish is so minuscule -- it would take a million of them to tip the scales at one kilogram -- they are seeking to have it listed as the world's smallest vertebrate. The world's current acknowledged smallest fish is the dwarf goby fish.
(Just want Australia needs, another weird animal.)
Pile of bones, pile of cash
SHANGHAI, China (AP) >> An anonymous bidder paid $7.7 million at an auction for a 3,000-year-old set of bones once used by Chinese rulers to foretell the future.The bones date from the Shang dynasty and consist of shards of tortoise shell inscribed with questions about the weather, harvests or whether to go to war. Oracles heated the bones over a flame and then interpreted answers from the shapes of the cracks.
The bones passed through several hands before being seized during the 1966-76 Cultural Revolution in Mao Zedong's ultra-leftist attack on traditional culture.
(The cultural revolution and seizure of the bones curiously were not foreseen by the bones' owner at the time.)
Honolulu Lite on Sunday
The Honolulu Lite Department of Lizards has discovered that there's a new lizard in town. And you won't believe what it eats.
Quote me on this:
"The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard the food came out of his nose." Garrison Keillor
See the Columnists section for some past articles.
Charles Memminger, winner of National Society
of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears
Tuesdays, Thursdays , Fridays and Sundays.
E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com