Richard Cheese and his Lounge Against the Machine turn hits like "Milkshake" and "Baby Got Back" into lounge songs. From left, Buddy Gouda, Bobby Ricotta, Cheese and Gordon Brie.
Spreading
the cheese
nationwide
Imagine how the "romantic" stylings of Snoop Dogg, Slayer, White Zombie and Puddle of Mudd would sound as performed by Frank Sinatra or John Pizzarelli and you've got Dick.
Dick Cheese, that is.
Richard Cheese and his Lounge Against the Machine, who will be performing this weekend at the Wave Waikiki, specialize in taking hits like "Baby Got Back" and "Milkshake" and "swankifying" them with swingin' lounge renditions.
Richard Cheese & Lounge Against The Machine
Where: Wave Waikiki, 1877 Kalakaua Ave.When: 8:30 p.m. today and tomorrow
Admission: $15 at the door; $12 presale available at the Wave, Cheapo's Music, Two Gruvz Records and Hungry Ear
Call: 941-0424
"We take the songs that are popular today and turn them into the sound that was popular yesterday, because there are so many great songs that are being written these days by some great lyricists and some great singers. It's about time they were treated in that traditional pop vocalist style. If Frank Sinatra were alive today, he'd be singing songs by Weezer and System of a Down and Jet," the Cheese man explained by phone from a cocktail lounge somewhere on the Las Vegas strip.
Cheese is riding that wave of acclaim for both his new album, "I'd Like A Virgin," and his previous "Tuxicity" album of 2002. With a repertoire that includes arrangements of "Smoke Two Joints" and "Material Girl," Richard Cheese & Lounge Against the Machine have performed as Carson Daly's Vegas house band on his late night TV show, several cable channels, and can be heard on the "Dawn of the Dead" soundtrack.
"There's four reasons people come to see us," Cheese says. "One is that they love the lounge music that we play -- my jazz band is really tight. Another reason is because they love the original songs, and sometimes they are amazed or surprised or shocked or terrified to hear lyrics by Nine Inch Nails or Nirvana 'swankified' in the Las Vegas style, but they like hearing them in a different way. A third reason people come in is because they love the different tuxedos I wear during the show ... and the fourth reason is that they don't know we're playing and they've made some horrible ticketing mistake."
CHEESE WARNS that the guest lists for his Honolulu gigs are going to be short. Don Ho is welcome, of course. So is Britney Spears, but America's favorite pop music sexpot will find that it'll be "Britney Spears plus zero."
"She's always on the guest list for our shows, but I don't want her bringing any (boy) friends. ... If I can get Britney Spears to finally marry me (by) using my talent and my albums and my power in show business, then I will. ... We're doing 'Toxic' by Britney this weekend at the Wave. It's a great love song. If you listen to the way Britney recorded it, it's almost perfect -- all it needed was piano, an upright bass and a jazz drummer to make it into a sexy, sensual Latin number, and I just love that song. The only thing I love more than that song is Britney herself."
Cheese confesses that he hasn't ACTUALLY had any face-to-face time with the pop star, although, he said, "I do spend a lot of time communicating to her in the privacy of my home.
"She's very, very elusive. I understand she was supposed to be in Hawaii this weekend on vacation, but I think she found out that I was going to be there and she made up that knee-injury thing. (Spears earlier this week canceled her U.S. summer tour after she underwent arthroscopic knee surgery -- Ed.) I know that's just her way of playing hard to get. But I do love her. She and I were married -- but she didn't show up at the wedding and I had to get it annulled. I miss her terribly."
BUT SERIOUSLY folks, Cheese credits band members Bobby Ricotta (piano), Gordon Brie (bass) and Buddy Gouda (drums and percussion) with allowing him to "spread the cheese" nationwide.
"I'm working with some really talented musicians. Some of the lyrics may surprise you -- like 'Milkshake' by Kelis. It's a really fun number because the guys in the band are so capable and such great jazz players. I think a lot of people who come for the (novelty of it) are going to be surprised by how good the music is."
The band also allows Cheese to work the room, go out in the audience and put the move on the ladies who might be interested in, shall we say, getting to know him better after the show.
Cheese adds that because Hawaii is his favorite place, there'll be some special Hawaiian-style numbers in the shows this weekend.
"We're bringing up some local musicians to add to the authentic tiki flavor of some of the arrangements. We've got a song by Green Day that we arranged on our CD with a Hawaiian arrangement and we're going to re-enact that on stage for the first time ever. I like to call what we'll do 'lavapalooza' -- turning the lava lamp up to bright and taking the music not just to a Vegas vibe, but to an island vibe."
And would he like to stay here in Hawaii? Absolutely!
"I would like to be known as the Hawaiian Las Vegas lounge singer and fly in to do a Hawaiian version of this show every week. In all seriousness, we want somebody at one of the major hotels to say 'We want Richard Cheese in Waikiki!'"
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