|
Alo-Ha! Friday Charles Memminger |
Texas is messing with
a winning sloganTHE Texas Transportation Department's anti-litter slogan "Don't Mess With Texas" has become so popular that businesses and civic groups are ripping it off to push their products and points of view.
Apparently unaware that there's no such thing as bad publicity, the Texas attorney general is considering suing anyone who uses the trademarked phrase. What a dummy. Hawaii would kill to have a trademarked slogan that people around the world would plaster all over everything. I suggest we adopt: "Don't Mess With Texas, Mess With Hawaii!"
And now the news ...
Giving H.K. the finger
HONG KONG (AP) » About 950,000 people turned out to see one of Buddha's fingers while it was on loan from Beijing for a 10-day exhibit.China flew the holy relic here as locals celebrated the Buddhist's birthday, but critics called it an attempt by the mainland leadership to calm public outrage over its decision to rule out full democracy in Hong Kong in the near term.
(They were also upset that Chinese leaders included a warning sign with the finger that said, "Whatever you do, don't pull it.")
Dummies fail crash test
SEWICKLEY, Pa. (AP) » Even after getting hard-hitting lessons on the dangers of underage drinking, Avonworth Senior High School students selected as prom party favors shot glasses for the guys and champagne flutes for the girls.Parents and police are livid over the choice, which the principal went along with.
"Ohio Township police chief Norbert Miklos was at a loss to explain choice, especially after police had staged a mock car crash days before the prom to drive home the dangers of drinking. "I don't think it's the brightest thing," he said.
(On the other hand, the students did nix the idea of handing out crack pipes and syringes at graduation ceremonies.)
Judge not into horse play
HOUSTON (AP) » A woman convicted of starving her two horses was sentenced to 30 days in jail, the first three on bread and water."She's going to get more than the horses got," said judge Mike Peters. He also ordered that enlarged photos of the famished horses be posted on the wall of Melissa Sweeny's cell as a reminder of what she did.
(The judge hopes that by subjecting the woman to cruelty she will learn that cruelty is wrong. Or something like that.)
Honolulu Lite on Sunday:
On Sunday I will be attending the National Society of Newspaper Columnists conference in New Orleans, where I will study the native practice of trading strings of beads on Bourbon street for a peek at the bare upper torso of attractive strangers. I expect to return home with many, many beads.
Quote me on this (Dept. of Summer School):
"One can always tell it is summer when one sees schoolteachers hanging about the streets idly, looking like cannibals during a shortage of missionaries." -- Robertson Davies"I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner." -- Lenny Bruce
"When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble." -- Mark Twain
See the Columnists section for some past articles.
Charles Memminger, winner of National Society
of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears
Tuesdays, Thursdays , Fridays and Sundays.
E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com