Starbulletin.com

Kalani Simpson Sidelines

Kalani Simpson


Casey is back at the bat


RAIN delay daydreams:

PLAY-BY-PLAY GUY: Here it is, Mudville fans -- it all comes down to this final out. Bottom of the ninth, home team down 4-2. What had been a dream season threatens to end here in heartbreaking fashion. As usual. Same old story, hope eternal, deep despair. Let's see what our manager does now.

COLOR MAN: He's a bum. He was a bum when we played together 30 years ago. He was a great talent, but he Couged it, couldn't take the pressure. They only hired him to manage as a marketing stunt when they changed the team nickname to "Goats."

PBP: They'll always be the Nine to me.

CM: Apparently that didn't sell enough T-shirts to people who don't actually live here or follow the team.

PBP: Flynn is up, 0-2 today, hit twice, and ... he's beaned again! He's beaned again! We've got a rally, baby!

CM: First is the other way, Flynnie.

PBP: He is a little wobbly out there. Now Thayer, who has a one-game hit streak going. He had a bloop single in the second inning. The windup ... over the first-baseman's head! Down the line! We've got runners on second and third. This is a definite rally. Mudville is still alive here in the bottom of the ninth! ... There's some activity in the dugout, folks, it looks like we're getting a pinch hitter here, and ... it's the manager! Casey! Casey has a bat!

CM: I can't look.

PBP: I don't believe it! He really is heading for home plate. At his age. With his history. And a heart condition. And a weight condition. And a sinus condition.

CM: Hair-loss condition ...

PBP: This is amazing. You should see the reaction of this crowd.

CM: They're leaving.

PBP: We've got "time." It looks like the umpire is trying to talk him out of it. And so are his players and the opposing pitcher and, apparently, "Billy the Goat."

CM: The book on Casey is simple. He can't afford to lay off strikes.

PBP: Oh, brilliant. Gee, do you think that hasn't occurred to him in the past 30 years?

CM: Plus, he's a bum.

PBP: It looks like we've got things straightened out now. There's a buzz in the stadium as Casey digs in, that old familiar stance. First pitch ... ripped into the gap! Flynn scores. It's still rolling. Thayer around third. It's to the wall. He's home! Casey keeps chugging.

CM: I've never seen anyone sweat like that before.

PBP: He's still going! For third! Here comes the throw to the cutoff man. Casey's heading for home! He's running like the great comedian Steve Martin! The play at the plate ... he's safe! He's safe! Nine win! They're carrying him around! Casey's in tears, the place is going crazy! There is Joy! There is Joy! There is Joy!

CM: Brought to you by Budweiser.



See the Columnists section for some past articles.

Kalani Simpson can be reached at ksimpson@starbulletin.com

— ADVERTISEMENTS —
— ADVERTISEMENTS —


| | | PRINTER-FRIENDLY VERSION
E-mail to Sports Editor

BACK TO TOP


Text Site Directory:
[News] [Business] [Features] [Sports] [Editorial] [Do It Electric!]
[Classified Ads] [Search] [Subscribe] [Info] [Letter to Editor]
[Feedback]
© 2004 Honolulu Star-Bulletin -- https://archives.starbulletin.com


-Advertisement-