[ BRAINSTORM! ]

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Hawaii, the ‘Don’t You
Dare Rename It’ State

Everyone knows Hawaii is "The Aloha
State." We're not trying to change it, but
just for fun we asked: What else might
be a good slogan?

Next month's Brainstorm

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By Nancy Christenson
nchristenson@starbulletin.com

This month's Brainstorm asked what might be a good slogan for Hawaii if for some reason we no longer called it "The Aloha State." The responses we received proved one thing: Mess with "aloha" at your own risk.

One anonymous reader (or perhaps "former" reader) suggested, "How about The State That Get No Respect ... especially from people like you. ... Imagine if you suggested something like this in Texas or California?? They would run you out of town in a heartbeat!! Stop making trouble. Remember, the Aloha is in you and that is all that counts."

That's me, nothing but trouble. I wrote back, explaining that the question was just for fun and we didn't mean to be disrespectful, and asking the anonymous reader to call or write again so we could talk. I even considered pulling this column, if he or she argued convincingly for it.

But I received no reply to that e-mail or to the second one I sent a few days later, so here we are.

Keith Haugen wrote, "What could be better than The Aloha State? If it isn't broke, don't fix it."

Again, we aren't changing the state slogan, nor are we suggesting it. We just thought it would be fun for our readers. Hey, remember fun? That's what we used to do before we started taking everything so seriously.

We also heard from a few sarcastic or unhappy residents and former residents. Folks, it's fine to point out flaws -- every community has them -- but it helps your credibility if you also offer ideas for improvement or, better yet, volunteer your time or money toward such. We're including a few of their comments, too, so please be prepared -- and don't shoot the messenger.

Without further lecturing, then, let's get to our readers' suggestions. Unless otherwise noted, the writers are Hawaii residents.

>> "I believe it is time we introduce another word into the world community for our slogan and that is: 'Home of Ohana.'

"In time of strife, with a war going on and the continuing need for more spirituality in our lives, I think the world should know that we take ohana seriously, which makes us a strong society."

-- Richard Kupa'a Brennan

>> "Hawaii, in the middle of the sea," or

"Hawaii, the middle of somewhere"

-- Bryan K. Mick

>> "Each locale seems to be about a primary dominant theme, be it physical features, peoples, food, recreation or entertainment. Los Angeles, for example, is about freeways and cars: What do you drive? What freeway to you live near? What freeway do you work near?

"What idea captures the distinctive features and encompasses the Aloha Spirit as well? That's the challenge of this exercise. To me, Hawaii is about all of the things you can do outside -- the beach, the parks, the sports, the ocean. You name it, Hawaii has it all. Some people say they get 'rock fever' in Hawaii. I say they get 'lack of imagination.' There is so much to do, see and explore in the Hawaiian islands.

"Hawaii is all of the these things, and a state of mind as well. Oh yeah, and a melting pot, too.

"So, my suggestions are:

>> Hawaii, A State of Paradise

>> Hawaii, The Polynesian State"

-- Jim Dorsey
Los Angeles, Calif.

>> "I don't think the slogan should be changed. 'The Aloha State' says it all. Why do people visit the islands? Sure, it can be the beauty or the food unlike anywhere else, but for me, a former 37-year resident, it's the ohana of aloha, the Aloha Spirit.

"I now live in Portland, Ore., and the traffic here is far worse at any given time than on Oahu. People of Hawaii don't seem to realize how sweet life is in the islands. I guess we get too caught up in our hustle-and-bustle everyday lives to notice the true beauty of aloha.

"After being on da mainland six months or so I miss da aloha spirit so much that it makes for a more pleasurable visit when I return to da aina. And every time I read that some old-time business closes, I get sad and remember small-kid times.

"So Hawaii, please don't change. Mahalo and aloha."

-- Jack Strubel
Portland, Ore.

>> "How about 'The Endangered Species State'?

"I identify well with the endangered species issue. I am 80 percent kanaka maoli, which is quite rare these days."

-- Josephine Keliipio

>> "The Paradise State"

"I used to live in Laie, where I raised my family, and I never miss a day of reading the Star-Bulletin!"

-- Toni Lua
Provo, Utah

(Editor's note: Mahalo, Toni!)

>> "The Dream State"

-- Michael Ward Stewart

>> "Quite possibly, 'The Island State' says it all."

-- Raymond Feliciano

>> "One of my fondest imaginings is that Hawaii is the cultural, social and economic 'Hub of the Pacific,' the center of activity from the west, south, north and eastern Pacific. However, the 'Hub of the Pacific State' or the 'Hub State' doesn't do it for me."

-- Charles Ka'ai'ai

>> "Hawaii: The State of the Unions"

-- Robert Sepulveda

>> "Islands in the Sun"

-- Al Lynde

>> "Where the life of the land and the sea are No. 1!"

-- Robert N. Mansfield

>> "Ocean of Fun State"

-- Steve Raynor

>> "How about 'Hawaii, The Island Nation'?

"I live in the far western end of the upper peninsula of Michigan off the shores of Lake Superior. We both live in fantastic places. Best wishes."

-- Diane Moon
Ironwood, Mich.

>> "Hawaii, the Ellis Island of the Pacific"

-- Patrick L. Conroy

OK, those were nice. If you don't want to hear the downside, you might want to stop here. But if you keep reading, I promise, it will end on a high note.

>> "Here's my top 10 list:

1. The Residents Can't Afford To Live Here State

2. The Communist State

3. The Corrupt State

4. The Two Paychecks Away From Bankruptcy State

5. The Surrender State

6. The Subsidy State

7. The Anything For Tourism State

8. Sovereignty, Schmoventry

9. The Last State Where Anyone Should Consider Starting or Moving a Business and ...

10. Property of The U.S. Department of Defense

-- Peter Helper

>> "I think the new state motto should be 'The Can't Do State.'

"Can't educate the students properly (regardless of how much money is thrown at the school system); can't give the ones who do graduate from the universities or colleges or high schools jobs with adequate wages; can't stop drug abuse or drug dealing; can't vote in politicians who will work together for the common good; can't fix potholes; can't come up with solutions for the horrid traffic jams ... Can't Can't Can't, ad nauseum. Ergo, 'The Can't Do State.'"

-- Ann Ruby

>> "How about 'The Komical Kingdom of Queen Pothole'?"

-- James Hykes

>> "'Land of Failed Liberal Utopian Socialist Dreams.' Forty years of Democrat Party control and we have the worst public schools, a severely degraded environment, massive social ills including drug addiction, family violence, a degraded indigenous host culture and the worst small-business climate in the nation."

-- David Shafer

These last few writers do have a point, and many of their complaints can often be found in letters to the editor. The high cost of living, rampant crime, lawmakers who seem determined to kill small businesses, domestic violence, potholes -- these are serious problems that affect us all.

But in the end, we do choose to live here. Maybe the things we love about Hawaii only make us more determined to hang in there and work on those areas that need help. If some of our Democratic lawmakers and our Republican governor will try a little harder to set aside their pride and put their heads together, and if the rest of us will do our part instead of expecting the government to handle everything, Hawaii will be a nice place to live for generations to come. Perhaps reader Beverly Allard says it best:

"To me, Hawaii will always be the Paradise of the Pacific."

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Nancy Christenson is the Star-Bulletin's assistant editorial page editor.

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[ BRAINSTORM! ] The ponds at the state Capitol are full of icky green stuff. What, besides holding an election, can we do to get rid of all that scum at the Big Square Building? Or should we just replace the ponds with something else? Tell us what you think, whether you know of a way to clean the ponds or if you'd rather see a remodel of the Capitol grounds. Anything would be an improvement. Send your ideas by June 16 to: brainstorm@starbulletin.com Or by mail: Brainstorm! c/o Nancy Christenson Star-Bulletin 500 Ala Moana 7 Waterfront Plaza, Suite 210 Honolulu, Hawaii 96813 Or by fax: Brainstorm! c/o Nancy Christenson 529-4750