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Alo-Ha! Friday Charles Memminger |
Aquarium exhibit
really has biteA German newspaper reports that a piranha was discovered in a pool at a Berlin aquarium where children are encouraged to stroke fish.
Why is Hawaii always behind the times on these kind of things? I doubt that the Honolulu Aquarium has a "petting pool," let alone one with fierce flesh-eating fish. What better way to acquaint children with the natural ocean than to remind them that when they enter the sea they become some creature's dinner.
Now the news ...
HMOs a real headache
MIDVALE, Utah (AP) » A 22-year-old woman had to live for four months with half her skull missing because of a dispute between her doctors and an insurance company.Briana Lane was injured in a car crash and doctors temporarily removed the skull piece to save her life. But for four months the skull fragment sat in a hospital freezer while the hospital and Medicaid argued over who would cover the costs of surgery to make her whole again.
During that time, Lane was forced to wear a plastic street hockey helmet to get through the day. The surgery finally came through after an excruciating wait during which she would wake up in the morning to find that her brain had shifted to one side during the night.
(Brain Shift. Don't you hate when that happens?)
A miracle in cardboard
ROBSTOWN, Texas (AP) » Religious pilgrims have come to this Coastal Bend town by the hundreds to view "tears" flowing from a cardboard Jesus in a wood-framed house.The oily substance began trickling from the outside corners of the image's eyes after a grandmother prayed for her critically disfigured grandson.
The grandmother dabs cotton balls against two streams of "tears" and gives them to visitors one after another.
(A jealous neighbor reportedly is vying for the tourist crowd with a cardboard cutout of "Julio, The Sweating Monk.")
Hoping God won't crash
OXFORD (BBC) » The Church of England has appointed its first Web pastor to oversee a new parish that will exist only on the Internet.Alyson Leslie, a lay pastor, will run i-Church, a community of worshippers from all over the world who will congregate at the Web site for prayers in chatrooms, Webcast services and e-mail socializing.
(Many special services will be offered, including a Virtual Confessional where people will be able to type in their sins and have them deleted by the web pastor. They also will be able to copy, paste and e-mail virtually millions of Hail Marys directly to God, or at least America Online.)
Honolulu Lite on Sunday:
You heard it here first: Hawaii's Jasmine Trias is going to win "American Idol." Read Honolulu Lite on Sunday to find out why.Quote Me On This (Dept. of Drinking):
"If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt." -- Dean Martin"For a bad hangover, take the juice of two quarts of whiskey." -- Eddie Condon
"Actually, it takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it is the 13th or 14th." -- George Burns.
See the Columnists section for some past articles.
Charles Memminger, winner of National Society
of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears
Tuesdays, Thursdays , Fridays and Sundays.
E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com