CRAIG T. KOJIMA / CKOJIMA@STARBULLETIN.COM
Erin de Neeve Baum wanted to build a career around motherhood, and was able to work her son Alex into her Baby Boot Camp exercise classes.
Working mothers share their
experiences in juggling the demands
of their careers and parenthood
A few generations ago, there was no reason for a woman to seek a career. Women were expected to find satisfaction staying at home and looking after their families.
Professional Moms:
When: 5 to 8 p.m. May 3
Trying to Have It All
Where: Plaza Club, 900 Fort St., Suite 2000
Admission: $30 before April 26; $35; 10 percent discount for Hawaii Women's Business Center members
Call: 522-8136
But the idea of having it all turned out to be an ideal achieved by all too few. The reality is that women went to work and still went home to perform the bulk of household chores, resulting in stress and relinquishing the dream.
Today, women often feel obligated to choose between motherhood and a successful career, while dealing with negative stereotypes attributed to working moms. But not all are willing to throw in the bath towel. Many are still trying to find ways to pursue their career dreams while running a happy household.
The Hawaii Women's Business Center will present "Professional Moms: Trying to Have It All" on May 3. The "talk story" event will feature women at different stages in their lives who endured the challenges of balancing a career or entrepreneurship and a family.
Panelist Erin deNeeve Baum said she couldn't afford to stop working, but wanted to find a way spend more time with her son. She reduced her hours to part time at a physical therapy clinic and started Baby Boot Camp, a strength-training program for mothers and babies, involving her son.
"I have the best of both worlds," she said. "I feel like I am doing something worthwhile, helping moms get back into shape."
In her exercise classes, moms don't need to find a sitter because the sessions are open to children. The group provides a support network for moms where they can discuss anything and get advice from one another.
"The babies play, the moms talk -- everyone is happy," Baum said. "And I get to work out five times a week."
APRIL HERSCHEND and her husband always knew they would open their own business.
With day care so expensive, the couple ended up creating a private playroom within her store, SpeedGear Hawaii.
The couple also wanted to be able to spend time with their kids. Herschend's four children have always helped with the business, whether in the store, on the Web site or other ways. "The retail experience helped my daughter. ... She is the district manager for a chain of stores in San Francisco," she said.
"I don't advocate that children work in a parent's business," she said, though it worked for her family.
"We have not missed out on a day with our kids. We experienced their first teeth, crawling and walking. A lot of parents don't have an opportunity to see these things. They grow up so fast."
Her husband also wanted to spend quality time with his children. "He could do everything except breast-feed. I never had to worry about him pitching in. It was a win-win situation," she said.
Herschend encourages moms to do their research if they have an interest they really want to pursue. "See if your kids can be a part of it."
WHEN Ann Marie Manzulli's daughter was born three months premature and was diagnosed with an obscure cancerous tumor on her foot, Manzulli knew she needed to find a way to spend more time at the hospital.
CRAIG T. KOJIMA / CKOJIMA@STARBULLETIN.COM
Theresa Charles with daughter, Makayla on her stomach, performs abdominal crunches during Erin deNeeve Baum's Baby Boot Camp sessions involving mother-and-infant exercises.
Manzulli was working during her pregnancy and didn't want her employer to hold her position for her. "I just knew I couldn't go back. I was either going to be at my job or with my child. It changed my whole worldview."
She established MANIFESTO marketing agency, allowing her more flexibility, which worked out because "everything got fast-forwarded," she said. The doctors needed to amputate her daughter's foot because she was too small to endure radiation or chemotherapy. "It was the most difficult decision that I ever had to make. I had to live with the guilt ... the horror."
Fortunately, she hit the ground running and had an opportunity to design Ala Moana Center tabloids to be inserted in newspapers.
Twelve years later, her story has a happy ending, she said. "My daughter gets a new prosthesis just like how other kids get new shoes. She has really been an example for me and allowed me to overcome greater obstacles.
"I had no idea what having a baby and juggling a career would be like," said Manzulli, who also has a 4-year-old daughter. "I always reinvent myself scripted on what is happening in my life. Everyone benefits, including my children and clients."
Her advice: "Make certain choices and don't sweat the small stuff. ... Be a lot more decisive." Moms tend to feel like they are letting everybody down if they are not giving everything 100 percent. "We need to be better editors in order to manage expectations. Simplification is the easiest form of editing."
Baum agrees, having learned to relax and ease up on perfectionism, saying, "There are not enough hours in the day."
HEARING STORIES like these can lead people to believe those who work at home have more time and flexibility than a typical 9-to-5er, which is far from the truth, Manzulli said. Those stuck at the office might wonder why home workers' laundry isn't done, why there are no groceries in the refrigerator or no dinner on the table.
"This needs to be nipped in the bud right away. It's all part of a juggling process," she said. "Keep focused on what is important to you."
Barbara Pleadwell, of Hastings & Pleadwell, is expecting her first baby at the end of May. She will speak from her perspective of being a career woman preparing for motherhood.
"I delayed being a mother in order to establish myself in my career," she said. "I have always had a home office. I certainly have a work environment that allows me to bring a child into the workplace. I approached pregnancy with my eyes wide open.
"As a business owner, I can't just disappear one day," she said. Most moms-to-be start by preparing the nursery and choosing names, but Pleadwell said it is just as important to prepare one's business for the birth.
"I have always pushed the limits of multitasking," she said, and she will continue to review all her tasks to decide what is manageable.
The panel discussion is a celebration of women who can do it all, she explained. "If we provide more examples, there will be less fear for those seeking to establish their own business," she said.
Manzulli thinks the landscape for women has changed for the better, saying: "My mother was a stay-at-home mom and kept the family together. The expectation was to learn to sew and cook -- and know that men like meat. She was funny and fabulous.
"I've learned that you can do both (manage motherhood and a career), but it doesn't have to be extreme. I don't have out-of-reach expectations for myself.
"If you feel you will be successful, you will be successful," she said.
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Classes offered for
The "Professional Moms: Trying to Have It All" workshop will also offer information about its sponsoring organization, the Hawaii Women's Business Center.
women in businessThe center is the first state organization to focus on helping women start and grow their own businesses, allowing professional women to network and have access to counseling, a resource library and computer lab. Annual membership is $75. Here are a few classes being offered by the center:
>> Next Thursday and May 1: Two-day "Fast Track: The Management Plan" will reveal ways of finding key market information such as pinpointing competitors, writing an industry and customer profile, determining untapped customer groups and developing tactics to reach them. Runs from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. at 1041 Nuuanu Ave., Suite A. Fee: $95.
>> May 11: "State and Federal Procedures," 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Learn the "what, when and where" of filing your business taxes, whether you are on your own or planning to hire staff. Be informed of your tax filing requirements, and learn more about documenting business-expense deductions. Fee: $40.
>> May 21: "Micro Enterprise 101: Starting a New Business," 9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Learn about what it takes to start and operate a new business in Hawaii. Cost: $20 in advance, $25 at the door.
Click for online
calendars and events.
