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’Net Junkie Shawn "Speedy" Lopes |
Short movie reviews
aren’t picture perfectThe Boston Phoenix calls Sony Pictures' "Hellboy" "wisecracking, tormented, scary and sexy"; the L.A. Weekly tabs it "one of the sturdier superhero movies of the last couple of years"; while Variety says, "Sound and fury is deftly apportioned with heart and soul."
I'll probably wait until it shows on cable, but like many, I'll seek out online reviews now and then to determine whether I should consider plopping down eight bucks on the latest Hollywood releases. As I'm often pressed for time, the shorter the review, the better.
Actually, the Four Word Film Review at fwfr.com isn't always helpful in gauging whether a film is worthwhile, but it can be entertaining to peruse on occasion. As its name implies, the Web site endeavors to deliver movie reviews in four words or less. Plain, simple, to the point.
"Starsky and Hutch," the big-screen parody of the bell bottom-era TV lawmen starring Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson and Snoop Dogg, is summarized as "'70's cops lovingly lampooned" and "'Zoolander' on cop beat."
"Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed," the follow-up to the successful live-action version of the Hanna-Barbera Saturday morning cartoon, reaped more than $29 million in its first weekend and garnered a fair number of reviews by visitors to the site, who have described the flick as "Doggy does number 2," "Another case of Scooby don't," "Those meddling kids return" and "Scooby-Doo doo-doo two."
Click on FWFR's FAQ feature to take a gander at the site's frequently asked questions, including those related to films, reviews and voting, or add your own comments to the "Fourum."
The Four Word Film Review also displays its top 100 contributions, as voted on by the general public. They include, just sneaking by in the 100th spot, "The Boy in the Plastic Bubble" (1976): "Tent 'n' quarantino"; in the 80th position, "The Bridge on the River Kwai" (1957): "Big bridge goes P.O.W."; "Back to the Future" (1985), No. 73: "A comedy of eras"; "XXX" (2002): "Why? Why? Why?"
Occupying the 13th spot is "Animal House" (1978): "From beer to fraternity"; and No. 2, "The Blair Witch Project" (1999): "Tense. Intense. In tents." And the most popular description of a feature in four words or less is one for the '97 blockbuster "Titanic," summarized as "Icy dead people."
Note: Web sites mentioned in this column were active at time of publication. The Honolulu Star-Bulletin neither endorses nor is responsible for their contents.
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’Net Junkie drops every Monday.
Contact Shawn "Speedy" Lopes at slopes@starbulletin.com.
