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Sidelines Kalani Simpson |
Drowning in the office pool
5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ...
That's right, you timed it perfectly. It's time once again for one of those predictable "my bracket is busted" NCAA basketball columns.
But this year there is one notable difference.
This year I haven't been coaxed off the ledge to write this column.
This year my remote isn't in the neighbor's yard and my TV screen remains intact.
This year there is no sign of that annoying heart murmur or that irritating facial tick.
Yes, it's really happening, it's true.
I'M ON FIRE, BAY-BEE!
Kalani, you are in seventh place in your office "for entertainment purposes only" pool. Seventh place. You call that "fire"?
Yes. I do. Entertainment purposes, here I come.
I've never been this high in the standings before. The air here is intoxicating. Usually I am last. And not just last, but last behind the guy who picked his teams blindfolded. By throwing darts. With his off hand. At the women's bracket.
But this year I am among the contenders, and with a strong second weekend, I am ready to make my move, and ...
(Wait. What's that crashing sound?)
Oh, who am I kidding. It's over.
In fact the office math geniuses have already confirmed it.
I had Nevada in the first round. But I had Mississippi State in the Final Four.
And then there is Bobby Knight. Knight! He sticks it to me again. He is my NCAA nemesis, the Hogan to my Colonel Klink.
Why do I keep banking on Bobby Knight despite year after year of NCAA Tournament heartbreak? Why do I continue to believe his team will advance, in the face of all evidence, when all others have lost faith?
Because I have to believe he's a brilliant coach.
Because I have to hope that somehow all of his insanity is good for something. I like to think there is some purpose behind it, some benefit from it, some method to his anger management.
I like to think that he's an evil genius, rather than just evil.
(I'm sorry. That's a ridiculous and inflammatory statement. Bob Knight is obviously not evil, and I apologize. But he has ruined my bracket for three straight years now, and that does make one bitter. I hope we never meet in an "upscale grocery store.")
At least he won a game for me, had me riding high for at least a moment.
This is seventh place we're talking about?
Yes. For me, in this kind of contest, yes, this is big. Trust me, until now, you haven't seen office-pool luck this bad since Rick Neuheisel.
But then there was a recount yesterday (no doubt in response to my uncharacteristic early success).
And the forecasters totaled up all of the points and went through all the possible scenarios. Let's see, add in last night's games (carry the one), plus Final Four bonuses ... hmmm.
There's a fight song playing, and it ain't mine.
There's that crashing sound again.
Another Cinderella bites the dust.
See the Columnists section for some past articles.
Kalani Simpson can be reached at ksimpson@starbulletin.com
