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Alo-Ha! Friday Charles Memminger |
Please Camile, get over
the nerves attack
Camile's got the nerve to be petrified. Please. Someone help our "American Idol" contestant Camile Velasco get over her nerves problem before I kill myself.
She's a gorgeous and presumably talented person, but watching Camile gives me the heebie-jeebies. The contrast between the nerve-wracked Camile and our other Idol wannabe Jasmine Trias is amazing. Jasmine seems to enjoy every minute in the spotlight. I give Camile credit for having the courage to perform despite her jangled nerves but, man, I think a couple shots of tequila might be in order before her next appearance. For me, anyway.
Now the news:
A dumb ice escapade
COPENHAGEN (AP) » A Chilean-born Dutch artist painted a 900-meter iceberg off the coast of western Greenland blood red.
Marco Evaristti said, "We need to decorate Mother Nature because it belongs to all of us."
Evaristti drew widespread attention and disdain previously when he displayed 10 working blenders filled with water and goldfish at a gallery. One visitor turned a blender on, grinding up a pair of goldfish. The gallery was cleared of animal cruelty charges.
(Here's an idea for his next piece of "art." Put Evaristti and a chunk of the red iceberg in a large blender and make a "Chillin' Chilean Idiot Margarita."
If they only had a brain
LAWRENCEVILLE, Ga. (AP) » The county school board may demand that six teachers repay nearly $30,000 in pay raises they received after obtaining fake degrees from an Internet "school" in Liberia.
(The tip off that something was amiss was the diploma made one teacher "Grande Generalissimo Big Honcho Jefe Strongman Whoopie Poopsiedoo of The Entire World!")
Race fans love this loser
TOKYO (AP) » Glorious Spring is the undisputed darling of Japan's racetracks. Thousands pack the stands to watch the thoroughbred run, a new pop song sings her praises and a movie is in the works. All of this notoriety comes because Glorious Spring has lost 106 consecutive races. "Haru-uara," has she's known in Japanese, has touched fans who root for the hapless underdog. Or underhorse.
(Asked what the title of the movie will be, Glorious Spring's owner said, "If she doesn't win a race soon, it will be "Sea Brisket.")
Honolulu Lite on Sunday:
Ever wonder what it's like to eat cow intestines or lie down in a box full of spiders? Me neither. Nevertheless, in Sunday's Honolulu Lite you'll learn first hand what it's like to do disgusting things for money and fame on the TV show "Fear Factor" from a Hawaii resident who actually tried it.
Quote Me On This:
"Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus." -- Bob Rubin
See the Columnists section for some past articles.
Charles Memminger, winner of National Society
of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears
Tuesdays, Thursdays , Fridays and Sundays.
E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com
