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My Kind of Town Don Chapman |
Virtual Buddha
» Kaneohe
They were just finishing tea and fruit on that morning after the event with the Dalai Lama at the Blaisdell Center, the second Lama Jey Tsong Khapa gazing out at the colors of the bay and thinking how far he was from the Himalayas, when the phone rang.
"Eh, Bodhicita, what's up?" he heard Khan say. "Thanks, you're the greatest ...
Yeah, I will tell Jey you called. But listen, forget him. It'll interfere with your relationship with Fon Du, and that could be dangerous."
"Sorry, Khan, it's over. I must follow Jey. I'm on my way, see ya soon."
The young Hawaiian lama saw Khan frowning as he hung up. "Bodhicita sends greetings, your holiness. Listen, I've got some work to do, and you mentioned wanting to learn about computers. This would be a good time."
"Excellent!"
"One question, though. After we saw 'The Passion' last night, you said you and Jesus used to talk about the best time to reincarnate. What about Muhammed? You ever run into him out there in god land?"
"Oh yes, the three of us have traveled and meditated together. You wouldn't believe how many times poor Muhammed has tried to reincarnate. But every time he returns and begins to preach his message of peace, he is assassinated by his own wayward followers. He gets so frustrated."
"I don't want that happening to you. Which is why I must get to work."
The young Hawaiian lama followed his older brother Joe Kharma downstairs to a room filled with computers and wires. Joe explained he was working on a virtual-reality program that made it possible to experience very different realities without ever leaving the room.
"How is this possible?"
"Electrical impulses, which is pretty much what we humans are."
"What kind of new reality can you introduce me to?"
"Well, there's the Battle of Gettysburg for Civil War buffs, the Battle of Britain for people who like to fly planes, and South Central L.A. for people who prefer modern urban warfare."
"They all involve fighting and bloodshed?"
Joe blushed. "Except for the virtual sex party with the sultan's harem."
"I see," the young lama said. "So violence and sex, that's it?"
"Sorry, Jey, there's not much of a market for anything else."
"But there are other realities, Joe, not merely other scenes or times in the history of this world. Perhaps if people knew the wonders of other realms beyond this one ..."
And so it was that Joe was hooking sensors to his brother's head and body, and as the young lama began to chant -- hum yam hum, hum ram hum, hum lam hum -- Joe's monitors began to flash with colors and scenes unimagined. And Joe thought, whoa, how's he doing this without drugs? Maybe there's a market for this stuff after all.
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Don Chapman is editor of MidWeek. His serialized novel runs daily in the Star-Bulletin. He can be e-mailed at dchapman@midweek.com
