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Student Union
 Frances Won |
Alzheimer’s robs family
of grandmother's vitalityI had reminded her countless times not to leave scraps of food on the carpet for the dog. Once, I went so far as to write her a reminder on my best Sanrio stationery with red Sharpie, placing it where I knew she would see it. Yet she persisted with her faulty ways, which in the eyes of a 12-year-old it appeared as if she deliberately ignored my request -- but in truth she had just forgotten.
One day she got into her car and disappeared. She had left in the middle of the night to pick up her prescription medicine at Tripler hospital, and from there she couldn't remember her way back home -- a route she traversed many times in the past. When we found her she was disoriented and had completely lost all sense of time. The same day her license was revoked and my grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease.
The nightmare began with her frequent trips to the bathroom. We would hear the toilet flush dozens of times an hour. She lost the basic ability to determine whether she needed to relieve herself. My family suffered sleepless nights when she would wander around the house, bumping into furniture, etching cuts on her skin and dark bruises.
During the next year she began to deteriorate faster as she hit the second stage of Alzheimer's -- the longest stage. Her memory loss and confusion continued to increase while her attention span severely shortened. Caring for my grandmother became a day job for my family. We soon became frustrated with her restlessness and inability to care for herself. Before long she had trouble recognizing us.
It got so bad that we had no choice but to send her to the Aiea Resting Home, where she would receive full-time supervision. For the first few months that she was there, I hadn't gone to visit her and when I finally did see her, her health had drastically declined. She had lost a lot of weight and could barely speak. She had lost all of her motor skills and was practically bedridden. After that visit I was too afraid to go back to the remnants of a woman I once called my grandmother. She was there physically but her soul had left her -- she wore no expression and her sunken eyes were drained of life.
For the next few years, all my grandmother became to me was a series of phone calls from the caregivers at the home informing my father of her frequent episodes of pneumonia.
Last year, she was finally sent to St. Francis Hospice to live out the final stage of the disease. When I went to the hospice to see her one last time before she died, I could no longer recognize this woman. I couldn't cry -- the pain just wouldn't sink in.
Teenagers today should cherish the time they have with their grandparents and elder relatives. Keep their memories fresh by looking over photo albums with them; keep them involved with activities such as cooking, gardening, a friendly game of Scrabble or making crafts so their minds don't deteriorate.
For teenagers with relatives who suffer from Alzheimer's disease, remember to be patient with them because they are not to blame for their inability to function properly. Most of all, don't push them away; cherish what time you have left together. I wish I had a second chance. Don't settle for "what ifs" and memories of your grandparents.
A few months after my grandmother's passing, I brought her dog outside with me where I told him what had happened. I told him everything I could remember about her; how she had led a hardworking and honest life, her love for plants, her favorite perfume and how every Thanksgiving she would be the one who left scraps of turkey on the carpet for him.
These are my memories. Go and make your own with your grandparents.
Frances Won is a senior at Moanalua High School.
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