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’Net Junkie Shawn "Speedy" Lopes |
English can’t get
any betterI've never quite understood the fascination the Japanese have for the English language. OK, sure, it's useful to know in this day and age, particularly when one out of every five people on this planet speak it. It's about as close as you can get to a truly international language. But in Japan it appears that embellishing a product with an English word, phrase or sentence -- no matter how absurd or illogical -- somehow transforms an ordinary item into a hip piece of merchandise.
Yet, in places where English is the primary tongue, these slogans are often met with laughter or ridicule, because, well ... they make absolutely no sense. There's a term for this bizarre butchery of the English language. It's called "Engrish." At Engrish.com, you'll find many visual examples of this phenomenon displayed across cars, clothing, snacks, stationery, toys and video games in Japan. There's a visitor magazine called Feel Up, for example, an inn named City Hotel Nut-Club and fruit candies called Dew-Dew.
Silly T-shirt slogans say things like: "A happy holiday. All the things that is reflected in the eyes are fresh, and it can be impressed by the heart. Let's walk slowly"; "Fight peaceful"; "Outrageous bay leaf power"; and my personal favorite, "Which is strong? Which beats you? Ridiculous!" written in bold, red letters.
According to Engrish.com, if you plan on using the services of an Internet cafe in Tokyo, you may be asked to sign a form that states: "It happens for the damege (sic) of our store equipement (double sic) by a quest's fault, and let me request it at cost. It is remarkable to the quests such as in our store and it may have it leave an act of trouble to the done one. When it has a set up and so on changed on purpose the next presence is sometimes refused on the Internet. It is hardly responsible about the Internet in our store at all. It has a reissue charge on the one that is has our store membership card damaged as to loss in case of a reissue. It agrees on the above oath items. Please write a signature."
Of course, Americans are equally guilty of sporting foreign characters when they have no knowledge of their actual meaning. We all remember Britney Spears' grief at discovering her tattoo, which she thought meant "mysterious" in Japanese, actually read "strange." Recent Internet reports reveal that her latest etching, which rests below her navel, translates to "big available" in Chinese.
Note: Web sites mentioned in this column were active at time of publication. The Honolulu Star-Bulletin neither endorses nor is responsible for their contents.
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’Net Junkie drops every Monday.
Contact Shawn "Speedy" Lopes at slopes@starbulletin.com.
