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My Kind of Town

Don Chapman


Buddha wore T-Macs


>> Blaisdell Center

While Te-Wu, the Chinese secret police, went into action following the white limo from the back of the Blaisdell Arena into Waikiki, where a hotel had offered a suite for the young lama making his first return to Hawaii since being discovered 16 years ago and sent off to India, the real second Lama Jey Tsong Khapa, reincarnate of one of the most beloved Buddhas in 1,400 years of Tibetan history, walked out of the arena's main entrance in a blond surfer boy wig topped with a Quiksilver cap, wearing a black Kailua Boys T-shirt, baggy jeans and Nike T-Macs.

They'd reached the nearly empty parking structure when the first words he heard in this strange new world were, "Eh, nice shoes, brah."

The speaker was a very large Polynesian male, wild-haired and heavily tattooed. Sensing vulnerability, he stepped menacingly from behind a car toward the young lama. "I like 'em."

"Don't even think about it, cesspool!" Kamasami Khan said, leaping between the two, squaring off in a martial arts ready position.

"Let's go, Jey," said Joe Kharma, the lama's older brother. The young lama held up a hand, motioned for Khan to step aside. Pressing palms together, fingertips touching his nose, he bowed to the interloper.

"These shoes have no meaning to me," he said. Kneeling, he unfastened the T-Macs, held them out. "May they be a blessing to you."

"Oh, uh, you know ..." he stammered, backed away, suddenly confused by such serenity and compassion. "Uh, you know, brah, second thought, eh, they not really my size. T'anks, though."

And he was gone, shaking his head as he went.

"You gotta quit doing that," Khan said as he drove his red Ram 1500 out of the parking structure and turned right on King.

"Doing what?" the lama answered from the big truck's passenger seat.

"Acting like a Buddha."

"It is who I am."

"Well, try to cool it in public."

"That's why I'm here, to serve all people."

"And I'm here to try to keep you alive, OK."

The lama bowed. "I am grateful for your service."

"Besides, that's how we lost Tibet. The Chinese were not dazzled by Tibetan wisdom and compassion, and when we bowed they chopped off our heads and laughed. They forced monks and nuns to have sex in public. They used sacred stone tablets to make urinals. They burned sacred texts and mixed the ash with field manure. They ..."

"Yes, I know of these desecrations and more. Your point?"

"That's what happens when you don't defend yourself."

"But my way worked today, good friend Khan, and it will again."



See the Columnists section for some past articles.

Don Chapman is editor of MidWeek. His serialized novel runs daily in the Star-Bulletin. He can be e-mailed at dchapman@midweek.com

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