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The Goddess Speaks Genevieve A. Suzuki |
Average Joes need
dose of realityI hugged my husband tightly the other day. It wasn't because we were watching scary movies, and it wasn't because we were caught up in passion. The hug was more of a reaction to "Average Joe Hawaii."
Mind you, I'm not saying that my husband is an "Average Joe." On the contrary, Derek flies faster than a speeding bullet, is more powerful than a locomotive and, of course, leaps Bishop Street buildings in a single bound.
But I'm pretty sure Larissa, the woman expected to choose Mr. Charming from a bunch of frog princes, would consider my bespectacled husband the Clark Kent type.
So, what's the problem? What's the problem with a group of Average Joes fighting over one beautiful woman? Ironically, the huge problem is reality.
The reality that there is a vicious disease being exploited by this series. For lack of a better name, we'll call it the Average Joe syndrome (TAJS). Sufferers from this particular illness are often professional men. They earn real money, have real jobs and look forward to real, tangible futures.
These men often do not look like Brad Pitt. They do not have abs of steel. And they have yet to watch "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy." But they are real men.
The delusion accompanying TAJS is that sufferers truly believe they will attain supermodel/actress types such as Brooke Burke, Pamela Anderson and Cindy Crawford. Some will, thus curing them of TAJS. Unfortunately, most candidates for this type of relief are millionaire rock stars, evidenced by Billy Joel, Ric Ocasek and Fred Durst.
Most men, however, are not millionaire rock stars. So, when TAJS sufferers find their elusive objects of desire, they are usually tossed aside to join the Friends Only pile of other TAJS sufferers.
"But she's so pretty. If only she would give me a chance."
If only these men would look closer at these dream women. Are these women worth waking up to every morning? What will conversations be like after several years? Do they have their own careers? Does she want kids? What are her goals? What's the compatibility factor?
If it's only physical beauty these men want, then that's all they'll get, coupled with a future full of plastic surgery, botox injections and endless appointments with hairstylists, manicurists and pedicurists.
And so victims of TAJS go on, searching for the unattainable Hope Diamond, passing along the way real gems, who are often just as attractive as the deluded but are cognizant of having their own careers, the state of world affairs and the terrible lure of chocolate.
Watching "Average Joe in Hawaii" really saddened me. The worst was when the host announced that the next show would introduce a sea of hunks to be thrown in with the Average Joes. Last season, the beautiful woman chose a hunk over the Average Joes. She said chemistry was most important to a relationship.
The truth is, the show is about a bunch of men displaying their self-esteem issues for viewer pleasure. In the episode I watched, an Average Joe had just been rejected. Before he got on the bus home, he turned to the camera to express his disappointment that Larissa couldn't get past his sizable weight.
How could he expect her to get past his exterior when he obviously couldn't get past hers?
Genevieve A. Suzuki is a freelance writer in Honolulu.
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