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Honolulu Lite Charles Memminger |
Rusti needs tough love
and plane ticketI've about had enough of Rusti, the poor old orangutan stuck in the Honolulu Zoo, unable to get his own piece of aina in Hawaii. In fact, I've had it with any exotic, nonindigenous animal from "talking gorillas" to disgruntled cougars who animal rights activists tell us deserve a chunk of some of the highest-priced real estate in the world.
As lovable as Rusti might be, he doesn't belong in Hawaii. He certainly doesn't deserve his own piece of the rock. I'm not even sure what he's doing here. Apparently, some mainland feel-good foundation fascinated with orangutans tried to find a nice place for Rusti but couldn't. So they shipped him to Hawaii to be "temporarily" kept at the Honolulu Zoo.
Huh? Aren't there any nice apartments in L.A.? I mean, the weather's warm in the islands, which I assume is a prerequisite for housing apes, but it's warm in Florida, Texas and Mississippi, too.
Now we're all supposed to feel bad for Rusti because he's essentially homeless. That's not his fault. It's the fault of those noble individuals more concerned with the "rights" of animals than the rights of humans.
The owners of the sprawling Kualoa Ranch on the Windward side offered to put up Rusti in a large facility on the property, but the animal rights folks thought Rusti deserved better. They apparently don't feel compelled to actually find the animal something better, just to veto whatever anyone else comes up with.
RUSTI NEEDS LAND, lots of land, under sunny skies above. Don't fence him in. Give me a break. Whenever the animal rights people start talking about giving land in Hawaii to animals, I start talking about giving land in Hawaii to Hawaiians.
Here's an idea: No exotic, imported animals get a square inch of land in Hawaii until every Hawaiian on the Hawaiian Homes waiting list gets his or her chunk of homestead. No land in Hawaii for Rusti or Koko or any monkeys, apes, skinks, cheetahs or kinkajous until all those Hawaiians who have been waiting decades for a small piece of the land they once owned get theirs. How come there's no International Hawaiian Rights Foundation sticking up for the Hawaiians? Rusti has a cozy place in Waikiki and a PR firm; Kimo has a tent on the beach and an eviction notice.
And even if all the Hawaiians were finally given the land they were promised, Rusti still shouldn't get a home in Hawaii. Not as long as there are people living out of shopping carts and sleeping under bridges. It's estimated that there are about 6,000 homeless people in Hawaii. How many of those have been offered their own domicile at Kualoa Ranch? Or anywhere?
But Rusti's so cute and cuddly. And old. He's 23. You don't even want to know what that is in dog years. You just want to hug him.
Homeless people are kind of groady and smelly-looking. You wouldn't want one sitting in your lap. Or your back yard.
There ought to be a rule: For every orangutan or critter that the animal rights organizations find a home for, they also have to find a home for at least one homeless person. Sorry, Rusti, no home on the range until Ethel comes in from the rain.
Reality check time, folks. Aloha, Rusti. Here's a plane ticket. Enjoy Las Vegas.
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Charles Memminger, winner of National Society of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com