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The Goddess Speaks Nadine Kam |
Guys miss real focus
of ‘Cold Mountain’In this world, there are three kinds of films, and I thought I knew the differences between them:
>> The chick flick: These break down into two more subcategories of the lightweight, lighthearted romantic comedies or the maudlin tear-jerkers that feature large ensemble female casts with a few token males thrown in to be jerky boyfriends or husbands. There are usually major falling-outs, maybe a death and one happy make-up session or epiphany at the end.
>> The guy film: Usually throws a few buddies in for an action-adventure or comedic cops escapade, or the lone wolf save-the-world type. In either case, car chases, explosions, daredevil exploits and bimbo interludes make up for lack of meaningful dialogue.
>> The gender neutral: These are the safeties because couples don't need to fight over them at the video-rental outlets. These include the blockbuster sagas like "The Lord of the Rings," the "Harry Potter" series and such laugh-out-loud fare as "Elf." I would include art-house and indie films in this category because they reveal some universal truth. These would include some of my favorite movies, such as Pedro Almodovar's "Talk to Her," Alejandro González Iñárritu "Amores Perros" and Chen Kaige's "Farewell My Concubine," with story lines that have stayed with me, in some cases, for years.
Well, I thought "Cold Mountain" -- with its dose of romance set against a backdrop of the Civil War, with no glossing over of violence -- would fall neatly into the latter category, but according to a couple of male co-workers and many a male reviewer, it's a chick flick through and through. And much as I hate to perpetuate the stereotype -- I mean, there are always exceptions to any "rule" -- men are indeed from Mars. Just when I start believing it isn't so, something tells me not to take for granted that they function on the same wavelength as the females of the species.
I saw it with said co-workers, two men and another woman. I thought it was a great film, honest and true to the heart of Charles Frazier's best-selling novel. I thought it might be heavy-handed for a majority of filmgoers, but the other woman, who usually prefers lighter mainstream fare such as "Elf," "Bringing Down the House" and "Sled Dogs," liked it also. We both wanted to see it again; five times would not be too much, we agreed.
So when one of the males ran out of the theater a third of the way into the film, I thought he had simply forgotten another appointment. I was surprised when he said later that the reason was that the film, save for a grope-kiss between Ada Monroe (Nicole Kidman) and Inman (Jude Law) before the latter marched off to war, did nothing for him. The other male echoed his sentiment, saying he didn't find the tentative but life-transforming relationship between Kidman's and Law's characters believable.
"I don't get the unrequited-love thing," he said.
What's not to understand? Such feelings are not gender exclusive.
"Haven't you ever met a person you were attracted to but didn't know what to say? Not everyone knows what to say, or says the right thing, or gets a chance to say everything they want to say," I said. "It's a very human thing."
At which point he grew huffy. "Oh, you mean to say we're not human?" (Don't worry, we talk like this all the time for the sake of mutual understanding.)
He continued, "I know it was a different time and courtship was different then, but you'd think that in a whole town she could have found someone else to marry her."
I TOOK THIS to mean he believed any man can be replaced as easily as last week's favorite CD. In the words of Homer Simpson, "DOH!" I said on the inside. To him, I said: "That's not the point. She was in love with Inman and was willing to wait for him at all cost!"
I guess in this age, it's hard to ask people to believe in romance. When half of marriages end in divorce and other relationships are seen as disposable, it doesn't seem practical to work things out together, much less tough it out apart. Why pine over lost "love" when in this love-the-one-you're-with era, you might as well stand on a street corner and yell, "Next!"
But in getting hung up on the love story, I believe they missed the film's bigger message of keeping hope alive in times of turmoil and uncertainty. The notion of persevering against odds might be compared to an immigrant's dream to come to America for a better life, a gambler's desire to strike it rich in Vegas or the ordinary person working 9 to 5 to secure a future for subsequent generations.
Now, there will be men who love this film as there will be women who hate it, but if you're testing the waters of coupledom, you'd best see it together to determine whether you can inhabit the same planet.
Nadine Kam is features editor.
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