So what’s with
all the comics?
Editor's note: Some information in this article appeared online at bookingentertainment.com.
Comedy is serious business. It is especially tough in Honolulu, which can be a bit out of step with the latest trends in humor.
So can Honolulu ever be a place that attracts the best comedians, or just some place where touring pros can cash a check on their way from Australia to Las Vegas? By some stroke of holiday luck, Honolulu hosts two of the best in the funny business this month when Jerry Seinfeld takes to the Waikiki Shell stage tomorrow, and George Carlin performs two shows New Year's Eve at the Blaisdell Concert Hall.
The bad news for Seinfeld fans is that all 2,700 seats for his one and only Hawaii show are sold out, largely because the comedian isn't allowing any lawn seating to be sold, which would increase capacity by 6,000. Seinfeld, 49, wants the performance to be as intimate as possible, a source said.
Jerry Seinfeld
Where: Waikiki ShellWhen: 7 p.m. tomorrow
Tickets: Sold out
He also isn't doing interviews because "absolutely no photos" of the comedian are allowed during his performance. Seinfeld truly is the master of his domain.
So why is he coming here? Like a lot of celebs, it's for a minivacation and to celebrate his third wedding anniversary Christmas day with his wife.
Comedian George Wallace, Seinfeld's good friend, told the Star-Bulletin years ago that "comparatively, Honolulu isn't a funny town."
"There isn't enough opportunity for new talent to grow here," he said. "You've got to create a buzz as a place where newer comedians are encouraged."
Seinfeld rarely grants press interviews, even though "60 Minutes" got him, teasing about his sexual history, to which, in true fashion, he politely refused to discuss "how immature I am."
Even more compelling about his insecurity is his endearing documentary last year, "Comedian," in which Seinfeld shares the challenges and triumphs of returning to his standup act after having made his fame with the television series.
Seinfeld has said he became fascinated by comedians at age 8 while watching television.
"I remember my parents telling me, 'This man's job is to come out and be funny for people.' I could not believe it," he said in a published interview. "'That's his whole job?,' I asked. 'Are you kidding me?' And they said, 'No, he's kidding us.'"
So Seinfeld says he knew he was going to be a comedian at a very young age.
"I remember one time I made a friend laugh so hard that he sprayed a mouthful of cookies and milk all over me," he said. "And I liked it. That was the beginning."
HIS UNIQUE brand of observational humor has made him one of the most popular and imitated comedians in the United States. Born in Brooklyn and raised in Massapequa, N.Y., Seinfeld began hitting the club circuit the night he graduated from Queens College.
He performed standup for free to perfect his act, paying the bills with a variety of odd jobs: working for a scam operation selling light bulbs over the phone and peddling fake jewelry on the street. He became a regular guest on "Late Night with David Letterman" and the "Tonight" show. Network and cable specials followed, and in 1990 he was given his own network sitcom. With partner Larry David -- the model for the neurotic George Costanza -- Seinfeld created a show about "nothing," devoting entire half-hours to everything from waiting for a table in a Chinese restaurant to looking for a lost car in a mall garage.
In 1993 the series was a huge hit, winning the Emmy for best comedy series, and remained at the top going into its ninth and final season. Not only did the TV show demonstrate his acting ability, but the opening and ending monologues allowed Seinfeld to riff in his inimitable manner on a variety of subjects. For example:
"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."
"There is no such thing as 'fun for the whole family.'"
"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end."
"A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow, this ranked even higher than death, which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy."
HIS RUNNING commentaries on the absurdities of life even made it into the show proper:
"Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference between a date and a job is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you'll wind up naked at the end of it. 'Well, Bill, the boss thinks you're the man for the position. Why don't you strip down and meet some of the people you'll be working with?'"
"One of the most popular procedures today is the nose job. The technical term for the nose job is rhinoplasty. Rhino?!? I mean, do we really need to insult the person at this particular moment of their life? They know they have a big nose; that's why they're coming in. Do they really need the abuse of being compared to a rhinoceros on top of everything else? When someone goes in for a hair transplant, they don't say, 'We're going to perform a cueball-ectomy on you, Mr. Johnson. We're going to attempt to remove the skin-headia of your chrome-domus. ... These are the technical terms, of course."
"I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. Now why does moisture ruin leather? Aren't cows outside a lot of the time? When it's raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, 'Let us in! We're all wearing leather! Open the door! We're going to ruin the whole outfit here!' 'Is it suede?' 'I am suede! The whole thing is suede! I can't have this cleaned. ... It's all I got!"
"On my block a lot of people walk their dogs, and I always see them walking along with their little poop bags. This, to me, is the lowest activity in human life -- following a dog with a little pooper scooper. Waiting for him to go so you can walk down the street with it in your bag. If aliens are watching this through telescopes, they're going to think the dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?"
Here are some other tidbits about the comedian:
>> Seinfeld bought Billy Joel's house in Amagansett village in the Hamptons for the then record-setting price of $32 million in March 2000.>> He once had a compulsive habit of throwing out the clothes he had traveled with after each road trip.
>> His sister, Carolyn Liebling, is his manager.
>> He has a collection of more than 500 sneakers, all white.
>> He received $225 million from the sale of syndication rights to his TV series.
>> He has practiced Zen meditation since the early 1970s.
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