Secrets to Success Deborah Cole Micek

---

Avoid the
quicksand trap

---

As the New Year approaches, you may find yourself once again thinking about what you'd like to change in the way you do business. But you just can't seem to stop procrastinating year after year to get it done. The little voice inside your head may be telling you that you don't want to keep getting behind in your ever-growing things-to-do pile, but you just can't seem to change it.

Every year, millions of people set out to do their New Year's resolutions in December, and by February, they find themselves further from their goals, more frustrated and disappointed.

Once we experience enough pain associated with a certain aspect of our business, we seek to change it. But how many times do you find yourself saying you are NOT going to do something, yet you can't seem to stop yourself?

We tell ourselves what we are NOT going to do, but we end up sabotaging our ability to free ourselves from the exact behaviors we want to change. This happens because we make decisions about what we are moving away from as opposed to what specific behavior we need to move toward.

By telling ourselves we are NOT going to do something, we put our right foot in quicksand. When we repeat the negative behavior we want to avoid, we end up putting our left foot in quicksand, and begin to sink.

Unraveling "not"

When we repeatedly tell ourselves we are not going to do something, we sink a little deeper into the quicksand. Finally, we are stuck and unable to move in any other direction but down.

Angela hired me a few months ago when she wanted to start her own business. She was working for a large publishing company on the mainland and wasn't satisfied with her job. Since high school she had this dream about having her own counseling practice and she had the credentials to do it. Her decision to hire a coach was the first step in turning her dream into reality.

Angela was clear about her vision, but was inexperienced in the area of marketing. We set out to develop a strategic marketing campaign together.

Angela was tripping up in the area of time management. Consistently behind in her planning, she kept telling herself that she was not going to wait until the last minute to prepare for her coaching sessions. But I started noticing she was less and less prepared.

What we discovered will be enlightening for you. When she kept focusing on what she was not going to do, her brain simply focused on the negative behavior she wanted to avoid. But her goal was programming her brain in the negative. A computer programmer will tell you this type of negative code will only serve to delay the task you want to see take place.

Angela needed to replace her self-talk with specific positive action she wanted to move toward.

Here is a simple strategy you can use to keep yourself out of quicksand.

>> Identify the behavior you want to change.

>> Instead of telling yourself what you are not going to do, make a statement about what you will do instead.

For example, if you do not want to continue making grammatical errors in your monthly reports, try saying, "I am going to produce an error free monthly report." This way you are programming your brain to move toward a positive direction instead of falling into quicksand.

Coaching corner

This week identify three behaviors you've been trying to change. Decide whether you have been using a negative or a positive approach to make the change. If you have been feeling stuck, replace your statement with one that will help you move toward positive growth.

---

See the Columnists section for some past articles.

John-Paul Micek is a small-business strategist
and chief operating officer at RPM Success Group.
Reach him at JPM@RPMsuccess.com
or toll-free at (888) 334-8151.

Deborah Cole Micek, chief executive officer
of RPM Success Group, is a business success coach
and life strategist. Reach her at DCM@RPMsuccess.com
or (888) 334-8151.