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Alo-Ha! Friday Charles Memminger |
What’s in a name?
Stupidity times threeA gentleman from Illinois has changed his name to Bubba Bubba Bubba from Raymond Allen Gray.
What's shocking isn't that someone would want to change his name to Bubba Bubba Bubba, but that someone from Illinois would want to change his name to Bubba Bubba Bubba. You'd think someone from Illinois would change their name to Fugettaboutit Fugettaboutit Fugettaboutit.
Think of all the legitimate Bubbas from the southern Bubba Belt who are hitting themselves in the head after having their name hijacked by a Yankee.
Now the news:
Voyeur falls for prostitute
HONG KONG >> A voyeur climbing up the side of a building to get a look at a naked deceased woman fell to his death, the China Daily reports.The incident occurred after a prostitute leapt to her death from an apartment in Shenzhen in Southern China.
A crowd gathered around the body, and the man scaled the building to get a better view. His death set off rumors that the ghost of the woman had lured the man to his death to be her companion in the afterlife.
(I believe it was Confucius who said, "Curiosity kills the cat and people who try to look at a naked dead prostitute.")
Hamster hoard harvested
BONN, Germany (BBC) >> A hoard of nuts buried by a rodent 17 million years ago is the oldest food larder discovered.A team from the University of Bonn found a burrow containing 1,800 fossilized nuts in an open-cast mine near Garzweiler. The scientists believe the nuts were food supplies hidden away by a large hamster.
(A large forgetful hamster.)
A new monkey business
BANGKOK >> Thailand's first monkey hospital has been opened in an area 70 miles north of Bangkok celebrated for its massive population of monkeys that roam free.According to the online news service Ananova, the monkeys, which are considered to bring good luck, will have the use of a 8,440-square-foot infirmary complete with operating, examination and admittance rooms.
(A sign in the waiting room says: "Absolutely No Sitting Quietly in Chairs. Swinging from light fixtures, throwing feces and creating general chaos is mandatory.")
'Honolulu Lite' on Sunday:
Finding a place to dump our garbage and recycle sludge isn't as hard as everyone thinks it is. Sunday's "Honolulu Lite" will disclose the last, best places to dump our crud where nobody will complain about it.
Quote me on this:
"Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't." -- Earl Wilson
See the Columnists section for some past articles.
Charles Memminger, winner of National Society
of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears
Tuesdays, Thursdays , Fridays and Sundays.
E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com