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’Net Junkie Shawn "Speedy" Lopes |
Site has funny
work storiesI've had my share of thankless jobs over the years, though no matter how frustrating my work situation seemed at the time, I always believed brighter times lay ahead. Whether retrieving shopping carts, mopping restroom floors or dealing with impossible customers, I managed to endure it all with a sense of humor. When that stopped working, I quit.
What I'm getting at is, we really should make the best of our situations and remember that our workplace often provides us with our fondest memories. On your next lunch break, I suggest you try www.totallyofftherecord.com, a Web site offering visitors the opportunity to read or share funny, outrageous or embarrassing work stories.
Read about the "Cheapskate millionaire company," "The noisiest co-workers" and the incompetent "Boss' daughter." Click on "What's New" for the latest submissions or "What's Hot" for the site's 10 most popular contributions. If you find a story particularly entertaining, you are encouraged to forward it to others. Totally Off the Record ranks each entry according to the number of weekly e-mail forwards it earns.
The No. 1 submission this week is entitled "Air Force maintenance logs," which reveals Air Force pilots' logged maintenance complaints and the corrective action recorded by mechanics (P stands for the problem, S stands for the corrective action taken).
"P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back order.P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.P: Mouse in cockpit
S: Cat installed."
And who knew medical reports could be so hilarious? See this week's No. 3 entry, "In the Notes," featuring excerpts from real medical and nursing notes.
"By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped and he was feeling better," reads one.
"Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year," says another.
There's more: "She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night"; "The lab test indicated abnormal lover function"; and my personal favorite, "Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized."
Note: Web sites mentioned in this column were active at time of publication. The Honolulu Star-Bulletin neither endorses nor is responsible for their contents.
See the Columnists section for some past articles.
’Net Junkie drops every Monday.
Contact Shawn "Speedy" Lopes at slopes@starbulletin.com.
