|
Honolulu Lite Charles Memminger |
Toilet tribute is
flush with possibilitiesBust out the good toilet paper and dust off your plunger because tomorrow, Nov. 19, is World Toilet Day.
I was a little disappointed to find out that the mayor and governor will not be marking the day with rousing speeches about the virtues of toilets. World Toilet Day never gets the respect and recognition it should. There was only one tiny wire story on World Toilet Day, and it got the date wrong. It said World Toilet Day comes every year on Nov. 16. Can you believe it?
World Toilet Day is the Rodney Dangerfield of holidays. Which doesn't make sense considering how important toilets are in our lives. I mean, Halloween gets all kinds of attention. But you only dress up in a funny costume one day a year, while you use the toilet several times a day, every day.
On World Toilet Day there should be parades and marching bands and the crowning of a World Toilet Day Queen.
But no, the only place you see World Toilet Day celebrated is at worldtoilet.org, Internet home of the World Toilet Organization.
The Singapore-based organization was founded by Jack Sim, president of the Restroom Association of Singapore. Singapore's a perfect place to launch such a group. The island is pathologically clean. If you even spit on the sidewalk, you are beaten with a stick.
To celebrate World Toilet Day, Sim offers tips to improve bathroom etiquette such as "teach children to aim" and "praise owners of well-kept toilets."
The Web site also sponsors contests such as the "Oh Yes! I've a New Toilet Invention!!" in which those submitting the best toilet invention ideas will win a "Mysterious Toilet Gift." Sounds a tad weird, but you've got to admire Mr. Sim's enthusiasm.
Another contest urges folks to "tell us why you think people draw graffiti in toilets" and "tell us what do you think the government should do about toilets." Those are heavy questions and no doubt will be examined closely at the World Toilet Summit in Beijing in 2004. Just think, hundreds, maybe thousands, of zany toilet aficionados gathered in one place to celebrate the porcelain throne. Party hearty, toilet dudes!
SURPRISINGLY, no U.S. state has joined the World Toilet Organization. Right now, members include groups like the Korea Clean Toilet Association, Malaysia Toilet Committee, Toilet & Toilet India and the Global Sanitet Club Finland (formerly known as the Finland Toilet Association).
Hawaii should definitely join this exciting organization because we are closer to Singapore than any other state and can say with little exaggeration that we have the finest public toilets in the Pacific basin. Just to get this thing going, I volunteer to become chairman of the Honolulu Toilet Bureau, Kaneohe Division, and am willing to travel to Beijing for next year's summit at public expense. In the meantime, enjoy a happy World Toilet Day, and keep on flushin'.
See the Columnists section for some past articles.
Charles Memminger, winner of National Society of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com
