’Net Junkie Shawn "Speedy" Lopes

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Texas inmates make
most of final meals

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As the saying goes, "Don't mess with Texas." See, Texans don't play. In their neck of the woods, if you commit murder, there's a good chance you'll be looking at either the electric chair or death by lethal injection. After conviction, all one can look forward to is his or her last meal.

At www.tdcj.state.tx.us/stat/finalmeals.htm, you'll find the final meal requests of dozens of condemned individuals, along with brief case histories and accompanying photos. There's Texas Department of Criminal Justice inmate #999358, aka Larry Hayes, who made the most of his final hours by gorging on two bacon double cheeseburgers, french fries, onion rings, ketchup, cole slaw, two diet Cokes, one quart of milk, one pint of rocky road ice cream, one pint of fried okra, salad dressing, tomato and onion.

I don't quite understand the diet soda thing, though. I mean, if there were ever a time to dump the calorie counting, you'd think your last day on earth would be it.

Convicted in 1995 of killing a clerk at an adult video store with a shotgun, Stanley Baker Jr. made his final request on May 30, 2002 for two 16-ounce ribeyes, one pound of turkey breast (sliced thin), twelve strips of bacon, two large hamburgers with mayo, onion and lettuce, two large baked potatoes with butter, sour cream, cheese and chives, four slices of cheese or one-half pound of grated cheddar cheese, chef salad with blue cheese dressing, two ears of corn-on-the-cob, one pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream, and four Vanilla Cokes or Mr. Pibb. (That's regular, not diet.)

Judging by this list, the most popular food items on Death Row appear to be cheeseburgers, french fries, steak, chicken fried steak, fried chicken, baked potatoes, enchiladas and ice cream. Some opt to forgo their last meal, and one, Robert Madden, even asked that his meal be donated to a homeless person.

An admirable gesture, to be sure, but before you feel too sorry for Madden, know that he was convicted in 1985 of the shooting and stabbing deaths of a 56-year-old man and his 22-year-old son. Their bodies were dumped in a creek, where it was found that one man's throat had been cut. Carrying that kind of guilt around would make just about anyone lose his appetite, I would imagine.

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Texas Dept. of Criminal Justice: Final Meal Requests

Note: Web sites mentioned in this column were active at time of publication. The Honolulu Star-Bulletin neither endorses nor is responsible for their contents.

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Contact Shawn "Speedy" Lopes at slopes@starbulletin.com.