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’Net Junkie Shawn "Speedy" Lopes |
Barf bags in
mint conditionDon't ask me what possesses a young man to swipe an airsickness bag off a commercial airliner and turn the event into a leisure pursuit, but Mike (no last name given) seems to enjoy his peculiar assortment of airplane barf bags. "People usually look at me strangely when they find out that I have a barf bag collection, even after I assure them that I only collect unused ones," he relates in his opening statement on "Mike's World Wide Web of Barfbags" at www.tns.lcs.mit.edu/~izzy/ barfbag.html. "I was afraid at first, sneaking them into my carry-on luggage during takeoffs or landings, but now I steal them with pride."
The Massachusetts Institute of Technology student traces his unusual hobby back to a United Airlines flight he took several years ago, at the onset of his freshman year at MIT, from Denver to Boston. Since then he's snagged an airsickness bag nearly every time he's boarded a jet. Scroll down the page a bit, and you'll find a photo of Mike's first-ever barf bag, a plain, foldable sack with concise, clear-cut instructions on its front. It reads, "Call flight attendant for disposal if used for motion sickness."
"This is the first barf bag I ever collected," he explains in the photo caption. "I've got 10 of these. I'm in the United Mileage Plus program, so I tend to fly United quite a bit. So much, in fact, that I've been able to witness the evolution of United's barf bags over the last six years." Like a pro ball team's uniforms, United seems to spruce up the look of their airsickness bags periodically. Their solution? Add two white stripes across the top of the bag, and substitute the text's plain font with a more eye-catching one. Hey, it worked for the New York Jets; why not airline jets?
If it's a modest, understated look you appreciate, it doesn't get any plainer than USAir's blank-white barf bags. "Notice the blatant lack of instructions on this bag," notes Mike. "Either USAir doesn't expect people to experience any nausea on their flights, or they figure that most of their regular customers are well acquainted with the use of this device."
A few thoughtful friends have even begun to contribute to Mike's collection, with pieces obtained from Delta (with instructions in six different languages) and international flights on KLM to Ireland and Virgin Atlantic to London.
"This bag is my favorite yet," he says of the Virgin airsickness bag. "Mainly for its straightforward attitude. No hiding behind terms like 'refuse' and 'motion discomfort.' No sir ... the only way it could be more straightforward would be to come out and say, 'Please puke in this bag instead of your lap.'"
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’Net Junkie drops every Monday.
Contact Shawn "Speedy" Lopes at slopes@starbulletin.com.
