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Sidelines Kalani Simpson |
Lakers trade coolness
for blue collarTHIS is the NBA, which means loud music, Laker Girls and beautiful people in the front row. This is style, this is cool. In the NBA, even the referees' warm-up jackets are smooth. There was even a guy courtside wearing a beret.
(You have to be one-name cool to pull off the beret. Saddam. Monica. Rerun. That's about it. It's an exclusive group.)
And in the NBA, as I have written before, the last time these guys were here, by far the coolest franchise is the Los Angeles Lakers.
They're on another level.
These guys are so cool their floor sweat-wiper guy is Bobby Nash.
But things are different now.
Arnold as Governor. The Red Sox and the Cubs. Karl Malone in Laker gold. Kobe Bryant charged with rape.
Clearly, the world is ending, so I'm not even sure why I'm bothering to finish this column. I guess it would be to point out the most shocking end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it revelation of the last few days, which is this:
The Lakers are no longer quite so cool.
But don't panic, Fletch F. Fletches.
That's a good thing.
Yes, Kobe took a lot of his aura with him when he left to attend legal matters in Colorado, but that's not all bad.
The Lakers are a lot more blue collar now.
There's Malone. Nothing flamboyant about this guy. Nothing Kobe. For goodness sake, he's older than the Golden State coach.
But you don't want this guy on your favorite NBA team? There he was, putting a pick on Speedy Claxton last night that would have killed anyone not named "Speedy." He cleaned up for second-chance points. He's KARL MALONE.
And he's in the best shape of his career despite his elderly condition, soaking his ankles in postgame ice. He's a bald Adonis.
And the other new guy, Gary Payton. Nothing but tough.
Shaq is a walking building (emphasis on the walking; this is the NBA). His shooting form should be on instructional videos ("don't EVER do this"). Diesel -- the most dominant force in the NBA -- has been calling for a pound-it-out identity for years.
"His shots don't depend too much on rhythm," Phil Jackson said after last night's 99-83 loss to the Warriors.
He's no ballerina.
Suddenly, the Lakers are a lot less Kobe, a lot more Shaq.
More toughness, less grace.
Less Hollywood, more Bring the Wood.
You've got to love it. You know Shaq does.
There's Phil in sandals.
There's old Cool Frames -- assistant coach Kurt Rambis, who'd looked like he was headed for slickness the last time we saw him -- looking like his old self.
Ah, Rambis. His old identity is the Lakers' new one.
Payton. Malone. "Me and Karl are trying to get in and feel a fit right now," Payton would say.
O'Neal. Horace Grant. (Horace Grant!) A bunch of old guys and tough guys. Divers and survivors. A bunch of hardwood Clint Eastwoods. This is a different Lakers team.
"No," Jackson said last night. "I didn't get to work on my tan."
See the Columnists section for some past articles.
Kalani Simpson can be reached at ksimpson@starbulletin.com
