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’Net Junkie Shawn "Speedy" Lopes |
Taking life’s tough
choices to the extreme"Life is filled with tough choices, and so is this Web site," reads www.youmustchoose.com's opening statement. "This page takes those tough life choices to the extreme."
I don't know what kind of tortured lives the makers behind youmustchoose.com lead, but if questions like "Would you rather get slashed with a straight razor across the face or have a tracheotemy performed on you with a steak knife?" are any indication of their current lot in life, it's a wonder they have any desire to live, let alone look after a Web site.
"We use some extreme language, extreme imagery and extreme situations," the site warns new visitors. Yes, some of the propositions posed here are outrageous, vulgar and in poor taste, which is enough to recommend Web crawlers to stay away, but many are also inane and, well, ... stupid. That makes youmustchoose.com a Web site a waste of time to browse for longer than a couple of minutes, unless, of course, you're intrigued by questions like "Would you rather be kicked in the crotch or lose $250.00?"
There seems to be an endless supply of ridiculous questions here, which may have something to do with the site's awarding of a free special edition YouMustChoose T-shirt to contributors with questions deemed "Choice of the Week." A former winning query comes from Jon Steele, who asks if you'd rather "Be dumped by a midget, or dumped FOR a midget?" Again, Jon's contribution was the most fascinating one they'd received the entire week.
"You live forever as a brain in a jar," begins another question. "You are constantly trying to take over the world with the telepathy you've taught yourself over the last 200 years." Your alternate choice is "All the free pasta and cheesecake you can eat, every Tuesday, until you die."
Browsing through comments left by the site's visitors, who apparently, like you, have way too much time on their hands, is actually the most entertaining aspect of youmustchoose. com. Ventures one such 'Net surfer: "You'd eventually get sick of the pasta and cheesecake. How could anyone ever get sick of world-dominating telepathy? Even if you are only a brain in a jar."
Wrong, rebuts another. "I would never get sick of the cheesecake and pasta. And u could give extras to your friends! So u wud be really popular. ROCK!"
Note: Web sites mentioned in this column were active at time of publication. The Honolulu Star-Bulletin neither endorses nor is responsible for their contents.
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’Net Junkie drops every Monday.
Contact Shawn "Speedy" Lopes at slopes@starbulletin.com.
