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Under the Sun Cynthia Oi |
You just can’t
beat a real, live,
face-to-face personI HAD TO go to the bank the other day. Not to an ATM, the electronic bank where simple transactions are handled through an impersonal series of button-pushing, accompanied by beeps and whirring of unseen mechanisms.
I had to enter a building where tellers behind counters flip greenbacks through their nimble fingers, where colorful placards and brochures touting the bank's services line a narrow desk at which customers fill out deposit and withdrawal slips.
I conducted business with a woman who answered my questions and checked appropriate records pleasantly and efficiently. As I was about to leave, she asked if I'd parked in the municipal lot next door. When I said yes, she offered me a quarter to replace the one I'd used to feed the meter. Surprised, I stuttered, "Ah, no, but thanks anyway."
I walked to my car smiling about the experience. It was nice to deal face to face with a real, live human being when earlier in the day, I'd had to wrangle by telephone with unseen "customer service representatives" for an airline and a credit card company.
They were fellow humans, too, but I got to talk to them only after jumping through what seemed like a zillion electronic hoops. You know the drill. You dial a 1-800 or 1-888 number and wait through several ringie-dingies until some sort of device retrieves your call.
Then you get the recorded spiel. "Thank you for calling (fill in the blank)," an enthusiastic voice declares. Next comes the commercial: "Fly-by-night airlines now takes you to more than 75 cities in Florida and Texas with special fares for oil company lobbyists. Press R-O-V-E for full details."
The voice coos on. "To better serve our customers (or clients, as some companies now prefer to call us), please listen carefully to the following menu options."
The first are usually to sell more stuff or services, followed by choices for various kinds of information. The trouble with the selections, however, is that sometimes they don't quite match the reason you're calling. And seldom is there one for complaints, which are generally grouped under the "all other questions" option. For those, you're instructed to press 0, whereupon you are flung into the zone of perpetual hold where more chirpy commercials are interspersed with mind-numbing, insipid music. Once in awhile, a voice returns to plead that "All our of representatives are busy with other customers, but your call is very important to us so please continue to hold. Your call will be taken in the order in which it was received." In other words, don't hang up or you'll just end up at the back of the phone line when you dial again.
So you wait and wait and wait. Suddenly, the music breaks off mid-note, another recorded voice clicks in to tell you that "for monitoring or training purposes, your call may be recorded," and -- bingo -- you finally get to a real, live person who can sort out why your credit card was billed for nine airline tickets instead of the four you actually reserved.
I realize that to please stockholders, businesses have to pull back on expenses and can't employ the number of workers it would take to answer every customer's call quickly every time. Doing business by phone is way more convenient than having to show up on site. Menu options can streamline matters if the person who answers is versed in handling specific kinds of problems, although sometimes I suspect that there's just the one guy in a New Delhi call center who picks up all of them.
Still, faceless voices over the wires become targets when someone is frustrated by a mistake or poor service. There's no chance to look each other in the eye or to gauge the other's countenance. So I'll hold in my mind the image of that pleasant, efficient bank teller as a reminder whenever I have to do business with a voice on the phone. That's worth more than the two-bit rebate for the parking meter.
See the Columnists section for some past articles.
Cynthia Oi has been on the staff of the Star-Bulletin since 1976. She can be reached at: coi@starbulletin.com.
