’Net Junkie

Shawn "Speedy" Lopes

Make way for
today’s mighty nerds

You couldn't be bothered to give them the time of day, nor would you dare sit at their lunch table for fear of being associated with their ilk. Yet these days, you cannot function without their knowledge, nor can you escape their vast influence.

Those nerds, once shunned by the high school and intermediate (or is it middle school these days?) populations, now rule the world. Who wouldn't want to be in Bill Gates' or Paul Allen's shoes? Let's face it, nerds are society's true movers and shakers.

At, you'll find 100 questions to help determine your nerd quotient. Have you ever programmed a computer? Continuously for more than four hours? Eight hours? On Friday, Saturday and Sunday of the same weekend? Past 4 a.m.? Have you ever built a computer? If so, you just might be a nerd.

Have you ever answered a question in lecture? Have you ever corrected a professor? Was your SAT math score more than 300 points higher than your verbal? Is your weight less than your IQ? Do you have a Rubik's Cube? Can you solve it? Without the book? Without looking? Have you used a chemistry set? Past the age of 13? Do you own a pencil case? Do you wear it?

Trust me, you're more than a little nerdy.

Based on the results of this Nerd Purity Test, I am 6 percent nerd and 94 percent "nerd pure." I admitted to having used a computer and a modem, owning a digital watch (though not one with a calculator, thank you) and a Rubik's Cube (for purely nostalgic reasons), and yes, I will confirm -- though reluctantly -- to indulging in several role-playing games such as "Dungeons & Dragons" in high school.

Not satisfied or entirely convinced of your results? Type into your address bar for a more extensive "nerdity" test featuring 500 questions, including: Do you sit in the front row more than 20 percent of the time? Have you ever had a perfect attendance record? Do you take notes in more than one color? Can you count in binary (up to decimal 10)? Can you count in Roman numerals? Can you name the first nine elements of the periodic table in order?

Somehow, taking all those "cruise" high school drawing and painting classes doesn't seem like such a smart move anymore.


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’Net Junkie drops every Monday.
Contact Shawn "Speedy" Lopes at


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