RICHARD WALKER / RWALKER@STARBULLETIN.COM Jennifer Drigger, released from a Maui jail about a month ago, is undergoing rehabilitation for "ice" addiction so she can be a mother again to her son, Cody, 11.

Woman struggles
against drug

Jennifer Drigger lost
the important things in her life
after getting addicted to "ice"

How to get help
A spiritual cleansing

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By Debra Barayuga
dbarayuga@starbulletin.com

CORRECTION Friday, Sept. 12, 2003 >> Those looking for treatment referrals to fight drug addiction can call Aloha United Way, 211 from all islands. In a list of where to get help on Page A11 Wednesday, residents were told to call ASK-2000, which has been discontinued. The Honolulu Star-Bulletin strives to make its news report fair and accurate. If you have a question or comment about news coverage, call Editor Frank Bridgewater at 529-4791 or email him at fbridgewater@starbulletin.com.

There was a time when Jennifer Drigger would do anything to get her next hit of "ice."

Shoplift. Sleep with guys. Forge and cash stolen checks.

But in just five years she lost her son, a good-paying job she enjoyed, the man she loved and the real Jennifer, she said, all because of crystal methamphetamine.

Now, she said, she detests anything to do with ice and what it's made her become.

"I don't like it," she said. "Before, I loved the drug. I hate it now."

Released from a Maui jail a little more than a month ago, Drigger, 31, is trying rehab so she can be a mom again to her 11-year-old son.

Three months in jail hasn't weaned her body off the drug. She has difficulty getting through each day without thoughts of lighting up. She's resisted so far. She knows if she gives in, it will mean a longer separation from her son, Cody, whom she raised since birth. Cody is now in the care of his father.

"It sucks waking up every day and wanting to go back to sleep because I don't care what happens to me," she said one day before she was to leave for drug treatment in Alaska, where she has family.

She's torn about leaving because she doesn't want to leave her son. "I'm not looking forward to it, but I know I have to do this for myself and my son," she said.

Raised in a middle-class family that didn't do drugs, Drigger experimented with cocaine, marijuana and LSD when she was 15 -- about the time she began living on the streets. Growing up in Kihei, she was constantly around friends and other people who did drugs, but she never got heavily into it, she said. She quit when she was 17 after giving birth to her son.

But five years ago, while visiting her brother and his friends, the Baldwin High graduate walked into a room where they were manufacturing and smoking ice, and was invited to join them.

"I started freaking out, and they told me calm down, just try it once, just see how it feels, then you'll know," she said.

Crystal methamphetamine use on Maui started getting "real heavy" about five years ago, she said, and people she knew who were smoking it began acting weird.

"I would tell people, 'How can you guys use that stuff? Look at how you guys look, look at the way you act,'" she said. "It's terrible, it's poison."

Despite her initial protests, "I smoked one hit and got addicted for two years," she recalled. "I'm talking every single day, 24 hours a day."

Smoking ice made her feel alive and hyper, ready to take on anything. It made her problems disappear but also magnified them.

Eventually, she couldn't get high off one hit, and all she could think about was getting the next hit, she said.

After a while, Drigger would stay in her house and leave the curtains closed. She wouldn't answer the door for her own friends, believing everyone was a Drug Enforcement Administration agent trying to arrest her.

She'd ask herself, "Why am I doing this?" but in the same breath she'd say, "I need another hit."

When she smoked, she rarely ate. "You can put a piece of food in your mouth, even if it's a muffin, and you can chew on the same piece for two hours," she said. "You're so dehydrated you can't swallow."

At 5-foot-6, Drigger went from a size 9 weighing about 140 pounds to size zero while on ice, weighing 97 pounds at her lowest.

She lost four teeth in the back of her mouth -- one of the effects of ice use. Other ice users she knows have no teeth.

Drigger said she met up with Tre, whom she had grown up with, and they fell in love. They promised to quit doing drugs and moved in together. Life was good, she said.

She was making $900 every two weeks cleaning condos at Kihei hotels. "I was their No. 1 worker," she said.

She was making payments on a car and was team mom for her son's basketball team.

"I was just starting my life over. I was so happy, I was in love," she said with a sigh.

The couple were together, drug-free, for 2 1/2 years before the relationship started falling apart. One day, she got so mad that she went to friends next door and bought a $50 "paper" -- a small bag of ice -- and started smoking again. Her boyfriend found out three months later and made her leave.

Drigger dropped her son off at his father's house, and for the next nine months, she was living "in the bushes" with homeless people.

"I just got lost, got so lost I didn't want help from anybody -- I just wanted to get high," she said.

Initially, it would take her two days to smoke a $50 paper. Eventually she would smoke the whole thing by herself in just two hits.

High on ice, Drigger would be obsessive about her appearance. She would dress up every day and put on makeup so she wouldn't look homeless. She said she changed clothes about 10 times a day.

She bit her nails, then sat for hours gluing on press-on nails, painting them, then biting them off again and starting all over.

For Drigger, getting ice was not a problem.

A self-described accomplished "clipper" -- shoplifter -- she'd call up one of her drug-dealer friends and write down an order for whatever they wanted.

"Any store you can think of, even exclusive malls, I'd go in there, and within five minutes I'd be out with anything you want. ... I did that for drugs," she said.

When she was still cleaning condos, she had found a bunch of checks left behind by a visiting family. For five days straight, she wrote checks out to cash -- $200 to $300 apiece -- and cashed them at her bank.

And Drigger was so high on ice that when police arrested her on a warrant Feb. 13 while she was smoking dope with a friend behind a supermarket, she couldn't figure out why she was being thrown in jail.

"I was so fried out by this time, I totally forgot about forging those checks," she said.

She was charged with four counts of second-degree forgery and second-degree theft and was accepted into Drug Court, which works to rehabilitate offenders. Released to a homeless shelter, Drigger went to the nearest pay phone, called a friend and proceeded to get high for two weeks, she said.

She pleaded guilty to five counts of forgery and theft and was placed on five years' probation. She was released July 22 and put on a plane to Oahu to stay with a friend of her mother.

She's never gone through treatment before and doesn't know what to expect. But she desperately wants to succeed, she said.

Her public defender, Gregory Ball, has one wish for her: "I hope she gets control of her bloodstream."

"Her body is her body. She should be in charge of what enters her body," he said. "A woman on drugs is like turning her bloodstream into an open sewer."

Drigger said if she doesn't seek help now, she'll end up dead. "That's my next step, dead," she said. "I'm lucky I have a few brain cells left."

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Getting help

Seek help from your doctor to fight the addiction. For treatment referrals, call ASK-2000, 808-275-2000. Treatment centers also offer help. Here is a partial statewide list, courtesy of the Coalition for a Drug-Free Hawaii; call 545-3228 or interisland at 808-845-1946 for more information.

Support Groups

Alanon/Alateen
Oahu: 593-3977
Maui: 242-0296
Kauai: 246-1116
Big Island: 935-0971

Alcoholics Anonymous
Oahu: 946-1438
Maui: 244-9673
Molokai: 558-8383
Big Island: 961-6133 or 329-1212
Kauai: 245-6677

Narcotics Anonymous
Oahu: 734-4357
Maui: 242-6404
Big Island: 969-6644
Kauai: 828-1674

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OAHU

Assessments of Hawaii: 843-1499, drug/alcohol assessments and educational classes
Bobby Benson Center: 293-7555, residential treatment for adolescents
Castle Medical Center: 263-5356, addiction assessment, inpatient and outpatient treatment, detoxification, family services and intervention for adolescents ages 13 to 18
Drug Addiction Services of Hawaii Inc. (DASH): 538-0704, outpatient treatment
Fresh Start Inc.: 678-0660, structured supportive living skills program
Habilitat: 235-3691, 800-872-2525, residential treatment facility for youths 15 years or older and adults
Hale Na'au Pono: 696-4211, outpatient care and educational groups
Hawaii Alcoholism Foundation Sand Island Treatment Center: 841-2319, day treatment, partial hospitalization, residential and outpatient counseling, dual diagnosis, transitional living and after-care for adults
Hawaii Counseling & Education Center: 254-6484, outpatient treatment and family counseling for adults and youths ages 4 to 19
Hina Mauka Recovery Center: 236-2600, 671-6900, school-based outpatient services, evaluation, treatment, education, and referral, individual and family counseling, skills-building and support groups
Ho'omau Ke Ola: 696-4266, inpatient and outpatient treatment
Institute of Human Services: 845-7150, 537-2724, emergency homeless shelter including outpatient counseling, case management, referral and support groups
Kalihi YMCA: 848-2494, outpatient and school-based outpatient treatment for adolescents
New Horizons: 484-1000, 696-2668, outpatient counseling, education, prevention and treatment seminars
Oxford House: 957-0324, recovery group homes and early sobriety house
Po'ailani Inc.: 262-2799, residential and outpatient for dual diagnosis
The Queen's Medical Center: 547-4352, outpatient, day treatment and partial hospitalization for substance abuse and dual diagnosis
Salvation Army: 595-6371, social detoxification, residential, partial day, outpatient and after-care for inmates of correctional facilities
Family Treatment Services: 732-2802, clean and sober housing for women, life skills, parenting, relapse prevention and job readiness
Adult Rehabilitation Center: 522-8400, support program for adult men
Teen Challenge of Hawaii: 637-0700, one-year residential Christian life school
Turning The Tide: 637-0700, one-year residential program
Victory Ohana Prison Fellowship: 853-2213, prison-to-community transitional program including substance abuse and prevention education, vocational training and community and youth outreach
Waianae Coast Comprehensive Health Center: 696-7081, 668-2277, intensive outpatient treatment and intervention, outreach and support for pregnant women, mothers and families

MILITARY

Adolescent Substance Abuse Counseling Service: 655-9944, education and counseling services for Army family members
Army Substance Abuse Program: 433-8700, 433-8702, referral, evaluation and outpatient treatment for Army, Department of Army and National Guard personnel and retired and family members
Drug Demand Reduction/Mental Health Services: 449-5892, substance abuse evaluation, education and rehabilitation for Air Force personnel and active-duty military
Substance Abuse Counseling Center: 257-8910, substance abuse intervention, assessment, outpatient, intensive outpatient and referrals for Marine Corps, dependents and some Department of Defense employees

MAUI

Aloha House: 579-9584, adult residential, day treatment, outpatient and education classes; outpatient services also available for adolescents
Hina Mauka: 242-9733, assessments and outpatient substance abuse for adults, adolescents and dual diagnosis
Malama Family Recovery Center: 877-7117, intervention, outreach, support and pre-treatment for pregnant and postpartum women
Maui Youth & Family Services: 579-8414, ext. 29, adolescent residential and outpatient services

MOLOKAI

Hale Ho'okupa'a: 553-3231, adult and adolescent drug treatment
Hale Pomaika'i Clean & Sober Transitional/Supported Living Program: 553-3251, transitional living program for recovering addicts

BIG ISLAND

Big Island Substance Abuse Council: 935-4927, adult outpatient and therapeutic living, and adolescent outpatient and school-based programs
Bridge House Supportive Living and Vocational Skill Building Program: 322-3305, residential treatment
Ohana Counseling Services Inc.: 935-4412, substance abuse counseling and individual and group therapy

KAUAI

Child and Family Service Safety Net Program: 245-5914, outreach, early intervention and treatment for pregnant and parenting women
Hina Mauka Recovery Center: 245-8883, evaluation, education, treatment and referral services for families
Ke Ala Pono Recovery Centers: 246-0663, outpatient, assessment, social detoxification, family, individual and group therapy
Department of Veterans Affairs, Kauai Veterans Center: 246-1163, outpatient, individual, group and family counseling