|
My Kind of Town Don Chapman |
Love, Jasmine
>>Kona
In his room at the Kona Surf, Cruz MacKenzie found the new LapFlex on the desk with a manila envelope thick with photocopies of silicone implant stories. On top of the LapFlex was a note written in flowery script: "We're at the pool. Come down for a drink! Love, Jasmine."
Love? And what's with the heart-shape smiley face flower Jasmine doodled beside her name? He was her uncle, for cryin' out loud.
Cruz also found two pairs of women's panties, one black bra and a strange suitcase in the bathroom.
Cruz fired up the LapFlex and sat down to write his column. Even though he had the concept for the lead, words came slowly uphill as very un-uncle visions of Jasmine waved from the wings of his consciousness. But he was a pro, he reminded himself several times, and despite the hormonal distractions knocked out a lead:
The Big Island fishing community came to say goodbye to one of their own yesterday. They left without getting to do that. Instead the fishing men and women of Kona chose to honor Daren Guy in a less traditional way. They went on a shark hunt.
Cruz wrote four more short graphs, reverting to inverted pyramid style -- the Kona fleet launching its own shark hunt, Sammy Kaleikini's catch halting the memorial service moments after it began, repeating the story of Daren Guy disappearing after winning the lottery.
Cruz needed a quote to follow the graph about the Kona shark hunt. He phoned Jean Uberherring at the governor's office. The State Shark Task Force, she said, "would consider a shark hunt in the event that sharks are deemed a threat to public safety. Jonah Hancock and other members of the task force do not believe that three alleged attacks on three different islands, constitute a threat to public safety and..."
"Four attacks," Cruz interrupted. "What about the guy on Maui?"
"That's classified as a drowning. He was bitten by a shark after he died. We encourage the public to act responsibly."
"Is it possible to talk with Mr. Hancock myself?"
"He's at sea today. Can I leave a message?"
"Tell him I called, please."
It was at moments like this that Cruz cherished the journalist's responsibility to report both sides of a story without bias. He was a columnist, he was supposed to have opinions, but frankly he didn't know what was right or what was wrong in this case. He didn't know if there was even a right or a wrong. On one hand, he didn't really like the idea of randomly hunting down animals that have at least as much right to the ocean as we do. On the other, he didn't like the idea of going for a swim and turning into Purina Shark Chow.
See the Columnists section for some past articles.
Don Chapman is editor of MidWeek. His serialized novel runs daily in the Star-Bulletin. He can be e-mailed at dchapman@midweek.com
