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Digital Slob Curt Brandao |
Pop-up ads could
satisfy music industryThere's really only one reason Digital Slobs prefer theme parks to state fairs. Beyond their cartoon-shaped snow cones and their much-appreciated ban on odorous 4-H tents, it's their simple fee structure that we adore. Just pay once at the gate and Disney's world of rides is your oyster until the tram carts your foot-throbbing, post-sugar buzzed carcass back to the SUV.
From cable TV to XM Radio, the Slob Nation demands the Disney model, insisting entertainment be served buffet style, not a la carte. We pay for Internet access, not individual Web sites; we pay for an entire newspaper, not for each article; we pay gym dues to avoid ALL the exercise equipment, not just the StairMaster.
But our upfront payments are just icing on the cake. By far the most valuable thing we offer is our attention, as providers get paid to direct us to all the other products we'll inevitably buy.
The music industry should jump into this pool with both feet, because CDs are about 90 minutes away from the buggy-whip/laserdisc/Jim-Carrey-as-a-serious-actor scrap heap.
A recent Pew survey echoes that 60 million Americans use file-sharing software, and about two-thirds of them couldn't care less about copyrights (perhaps Christina Aguilera's next gyration should be titled "U Got2Pay2Play Me Baby").
Legal or not (OK, not), when millions of sheep go wrong, it's time to revise "wrong" and figure out a new way to fleece them. If millions crossed against the light on a city street, would police scribble jaywalking tickets until they got Carpal Tunnel Syndrome claw, or would they just block off the street and quadruple hot dog vendors' permit fees?
The Recording Industry Association of America has chosen the Carpal Tunnel approach. But their thousand subpoenas won't stop the downloading masses any more than a revolver will stop a stampede. You can't halt a hurricane by hiring a team of lawyers to stand on the beach and blow in the opposite direction. A few music pirates are a snuff-outable nuisance; 60 million are a force of nature.
The RIAA could learn a lot from TV. Each "Friends" cast member gets $1 million an episode this year, and I doubt any of that will come from viewers' cookie-jar funds (Matthew Perry is funny, but not "honey, get my checkbook" funny). Despite our miserly neglect, the ensemble still ekes out a living (as do the show's technicians, writers and caterers) thanks to an abstract, obscure, little-known concept called "advertising."
Likewise, record labels should flip from using ads to push their content, to using their content to push ads. Imagine Britney Spears unveils her much-feared next song. Downloaders, start your engines. But this time, before the freebie, you must click through a pop-up ad for Sprite Remix. You can either print or delete the coupon. Sprite pays the label based on how many "hits" their ad gets. The label gives a cut to the developers of the new speed-bumped software, with plenty left for Britney and all her puppeteers. You get a free song, and 50 cents off soda. Sprite gets a big product launch. The label makes even more money because they haven't spent a cent on CD production, and Britney's deal with the devil is still all squared away. Everyone is happy -- unclean, but happy.
It's not a flawless concept based on grandiose virtues, but as Disney always tells us, "It's a Small World After All." Don't start singing that, though -- it's copyrighted.
See the Columnists section for some past articles.
Curt Brandao is the Star-Bulletin's production editor. Reach him at: cbrandao@starbulletin.com
